For as long as I can remember, Travis has always said that he wants his first son to be names Isaac. And the middle name will be William (like all the guys in his family, Roger William, Gregory William, Travis William...). So, weather or not I like it *which I do*, I know that I have been overridden by his family history. There aren't many things in our life that he says 'this is how it will be' but these are one of those things (the other thing is no purple walls....) So, fine, our first boy will be Isaac William, and our first girl will be Anastasia Kate. That is if we actually ever *do* have a child!
Have you ever had a time that you have watched a movie, heard a song, or listened to a story, and no matter if you have heard it 100 times, for some reason, that one time, you heard something that changed your whole perspective?
That happened to me at church today. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the story of Abram and Sarai, however, after today, and Pastor Eddie's teachings, I will forever be changed by it. So back to the story- She was promised that her husband would be the "father of nations". After being baron for many many years, she was joyful. However, ten years went by, and still no children. God reminded Abram of his promise and showed him the stars in the sky saying that his descendants would be more then those. By this time, Sarai realized at her 'advanced' age, she probably wasn't going to ever give Abram the child that was promised, she figured she would 'help' Gods plan by letting her maid servant Hagar get pregnant with his child. It happened, and she begot (don't you love that word) Ishmael. Pastor Eddie said it perfectly "When we step out of faith, we complicate His plan".
God then reminded Abram of the plan He had made, clarifying that 'I will bless her, and give you a son by HER... kings of peoples shall be from her". He even went so far a to have her change her name to Sarah, which in Hebrew means noble woman, mother of nations. Abram then questions Him because they have tried, and hoped, for so long, if they, who were 100 and 90 really going to have children. The Lord then tells him, "no, Sarah your wife, will bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac"
It was then, that the tears started poring, so much that this evening, now that I look at the note I quickly wrote to Travis I can hardly read it. How have I never realized the correlation? I guess not going through infertility, this story wouldn't really have hit me the way it did. The name of the child that the Lord promised Sarah was Isaac. That has been the only male name EVER discussed in our house. I can only hope that God will give us our little Isaac, the same way He gave it to another woman that was so desperate for a child.
For the rest of service, my emotions were on the fringe, and then, so simply, Pastor Eddie ended with Genesis 18:14, "Is anything to hard for the Lord?" He then had us turn to the person next to us, and ask them, "is anything to hard for the Lord?". Travis was the only one who asked, because I couldn't speak.
So, yes, the Lord can help us have a baby, the only way to have the baby, and if that is not His plan, I know that He will reveal his plan to us, when it 'works for Him'. Now, to only be patient until that time comes! That's the tough part! :)
Oh honey, what a beautiful post! The name Isaac is beautiful...I couldn't picture a more perfect name for your perfect little boy! I can't wait to meet your miracle someday soon!
ReplyDeletebabyparamore.blogspot.com
I've always loved the name 'Isaac'. And those are beautiful reasons for choosing it.
ReplyDeleteWow.. I just read your post, and I know how you're feeling. I have had 4 m/c and have recently been diagnosed with one type of MTHFR. Oh, and my name is Sarah... I was named after this exact Sarah, so I'm hoping that one day I will get my Ísaac too.
ReplyDeleteGood luck...
What a moving post. My throat got all tight reading it. =) I am really so touched by your deep faith through your IF struggle. I think I am going through a low point right now in my faith. I feel really abandoned by God. I know at some point I will need to just embrace whatever His plan is for me, but I can't seem to wrap my mind around that right now. It's so incredibly hard.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get your Isaac soon.
I am in tears as well. I don't know you, but I do know our God! And I AM certain you will have your Isaac! How do I know? Because we were there. 1st time I prayed Hannah's prayer after 4 years and a few weeks later we brought home our first son (thru foster/adoopt). Not our plan, but God's and it was perfect. God didn't stop there, but went on to bless us with 2 more 1/2 siblings and then 3 miracles thru embryo adoption. I have our story on our blog, how God gave us GOD moments before each child and Abraham & Sarah's promised seed was a big pivitol moment for me as well. 16 years into our marriage we were pregnant, we brought home our Isaac thru the miracle of embryo/adoption. I want to share that with you to encourage you. Hang in there...your miracles are coming! God bless you bunches!
ReplyDelete