Saturday, January 30, 2010

Another 2ww

Emily, over at A Hope and a Wish for a Gift from a Petri Dish, wrote this perfect... so I'm stealing borrowing it from her!  She is actually just a day ahead of me, so we will both have little pumpkins!

How many times must us IF girls face the 2ww. I have finally gotten the glorious BFP...and now I have to go 2 whole weeks until I can see *my pumpkin*. I have to wait 2 weeks to see if my baby has a heartbeat. I have to wait 2 weeks to find out how many are in there. I have to wait 2 weeks to know that I am really and truly pregnant and the embryo is where it is supposed to be and growing like it is supposed to.

It seems so unfair. I've already put in my 2ww.

She has stated it so simply.  The only change I made, was I put in *my pumpkin* since that seems to be our nickname for our little one already.

Emily, all I have to say is ditto!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Time for a rodeo!

That's what this feels like.  On Monday morning, I was woken up REALY early, because Travis wanted me to test before he left.  I walked into the kitchen, and simply asked "are you ready for this rodeo one more time"?  I don't know if it was joy or with exhaustion he asked... "You're pregnant... again?"  Probably both, because that's how I feel.  Though, he must feel like a stud, being able to knock his wife up 3 out of the last four cycles!!  We sent text messages to his parents and older sister, and I called my family (they aren't so great at the texting thing... though my Dad has a BlackBerry Storm... go figure!).  We just asked for continued prayers, as we waited for the betas that would follow.

I'm telling you friends... it was SOOO hard not to run here and let you know.  If this blog was anonymous, it would be different, but since a bunch of our friends and extended family read it as well, I waited.  Trav and I talked about the pros and cons of 'announcing' last pregnancy, and though some of our friends know, (actually I think I've only told 2 friends... and they both kinda drug it out of me), he understands what a support group all my 'bloggin' friends' are.  Sooo.... if you know us, we ask that you keep it private, and instead of congratulations, we only ask for prayers.

Now for the really exciting news!  Today I'm 4 weeks, 3 days pregnant.  The even more exciting news is that my first two betas were AMAZING!  As good as we could ask for.  12dpo (Monday) was 43, and 14dpo (Wednesday) was 128!  Which if you do the math, is one point away from TRIPELING in 48 hours.... Wicked Cool!  Even though these two were great, my doctor said for 'grins and giggles' he wanted to do a 3rd one.  I went today after I subbed, but since we have a bad storm (they let school out early...) they had already shut down the labs.  Of course I would have loved to know what the 3rd number was, but I can wait until Monday.   There is still anxiety, but not shear panic.  For now.

I tried to drop hints... look at my last few posts... I'm telling you... I.was.dying. not telling you.  In reference to my previous post, the pumpkin.... I would be due on October 6th, so I though a pumpkin was fitting! 

Hope you all have a great weekend!  I know that we are trying not to get excited... but who are we kidding, we're stoked!  Especially since these numbers are WAY higher then the other two (if you remember my 12dpo betas in October and December were 11 and 25).

Like I said, no congratulations, you can do that once we are holding our little pumpkin, for now, just prayers.   

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Daily Laugh (x2)

I know, two daily laughs in one day... but saw this and couldn't pass it up.  Except, I'm not sure if its so much as daily laugh for some of us that see BFN month after month...  Found it at

Step 1...Pee on the stick. (must be sure to hold it under urine stream for a heartbeat longer than recommended just to be sure).

Step 2...Stare at stick while you continue peeing. Feel heart jump when urine passes over the spot where the line would be and it hitches for a second, then gets a dark line...then keeps going, taking your dark line with it to the test window.

Step 3...Place on bathroom counter. Pretend not to stare at it. Let's try to give yourself busy work to keep from looking at it. In fact, your toilet now gets cleaned once per day.

Step 4...Tell yourself you are expecting a BFN. Then start to mist up when you see that it is, in fact, a BFN. Stare at the blank spot for a full minute before picking it up.

Step 5...First, go to window and check it under day light.

Step 5...Now, stand on toilet to be closer to light in ceiling. Check strip.

Step 6...Close one eye. Squint other eye.

Step 7...Turn on several lamps around house. Hold strip under lamp. Check strip.

Step 8...Hold strip OVER lamp. Check strip.

Step 9...Hold strip in front of lamp so light shines THROUGH strip, just in case.

Step 10...Pull stick apart. Hesitate for a heartbeat when you realize you are holding the still wet "wick" in one hand, then continue the destruction.

Step 11...Repeat Steps 5-9.

Step 12...Throw stick away.

Step 13...Pick stick back up out of trash.

Step 14...Repeat Steps 12 and 13 the rest of the day!

Daily Laugh

This picture is from a few months ago, but I found it while looking for something else and it made me smile.

If you can't tell (sorry, I know its fuzzy), it is chocolate teddy grahams 'swimming' in milk.

My husband had poured them into his glass of milk, and in a sing-song voice said "swim little bears, swim!"

You see, my husband has this 'issue' with food.  I'm not really sure where it comes from, but it used to drive me crazy, now I just shake my head and laugh.  If we ever have food that needs to be thrown away (think old, stale cupcakes, the last bits of a casserole) he will play with it. 

Here is a perfect example:  We had extra icing from some cupcakes I had made.  He smeared it all over his hands, and up his forearms like you would lotion.  Really?!?  He seemed so pleased with himself.  After I took this picture, I asked him what he planned on doing now that he had icing all over himself. 

Simple solution:  Just call the dogs!  They of course, LOVE it when he plays with food, because usually they get to help him 'clean up' his mess.

Monday, January 25, 2010

If only it were that easy.

Philippians 4:6-8

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Though, as I start this week, I am going to try to keep that passage in the front of my mind. 

Sunday, January 24, 2010

AUGH!!! *updaed*

Check out this article! THEY WERE ROBBED!!!

I have to keep repeating this....

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

I will not let my happiness be determined by men running around a field in stretchy pants.

But honestly, the Vikings were 'overdue' for some of Brett's interceptions... they only had 7 all season, but no worries, he got 'caught up' tonight.

Dear Brett,

Dear Brett,

I have been a Green Bay fan since I was little. This also meant that you were all I had ever known. I was sad when you went to play for the Jets, but I kinda, sorta, understood. However, when you signed with the Vikings this year, you were just being spiteful. I still followed your 'hissyfit' season. Since my Green Bay boys are out of the running, I of course am backing you as you play the Saints today, but not for the reasons you think.

I'm hoping that if you win the Super Bowl this year, you can retire- really retire- and then we can forget these last few years and be friends again.


A cute Cheesehead

PS- My husband would really love it if your 'hissyfit' season was over too. You see he spent UP THE NOSE for a Green Bay # 4 women's jersey. You know the one's that has sparkles and are pretty. I got it for the last Christmas you played with the Pack. He would like it if we were friends again, because as you retire from the Vikings, I will be able to UN-retire my jersey from the back of the closet and enjoy wearing it again!


Dear Professor Douchbag,
Yes, I think your an asshole for making me buy your book, and subscribe to that stupid website, and the fact that you don't know your own freaking assignment due dates.  However, that is not the purpose of this letter.  After your reminder that all papers after this point are late, I got my butt in gear, and I spent LESS THEN TWO HOURS on my dumb paper all about the term YOU so famously coined all those years ago (ummm... can we say ego?!).  It was utter bliss to read your response of "Superb Job Jennifer!".  It further made my heart fill with joy to read "Exceptionally well written, Jennifer".  SUCK ON THAT!

Your 'hard working' student,

I am a Fucking Paper-Writing Rockstar!!!

Ok, now all of you that think I'm a total slacker, I really am not.  It's not in my nature to leave things to the last minute (and Mom, if your reading this quit laughing... and ignore the f-word a few lines up).  I really do try to be on top of things, but I'll be honest, right now more things then I care to admit to have fallen through the cracks.  Such is life.  *que anxiety attack*.

Wow, I feel so much better!  Now if only my Brett can win this game, and then win the SuperBowl, then he can retire, and he and I can forget about these past two years and we can be friends again.
Some commenters on the previous post had some questions, and so I guess I'll answer them, starting with what type of classes I'm taking.

I graduated from UNM in 2005 with my BS in Elementary Education, which New Mexico then awarded me a K-8 Teaching licence. We move to Missouri later that summer and they grant me a 1-6 teaching licence. Not horrible because the only two job offers I got (both a week before school started!) were for a 1st and 3rd grade class. I took the 3rd graders and though I loved my kids, lost a piece of my soul teaching that young of a grade (and most of my passion for teaching). I worked in the corporate world for several years, as a Business Analyst for a Merchant Services company, and really enjoyed it. When we moved again, it was going to be hard to transfer my clients and such, so I resigned, and tried to enjoy being a housewife.

I didn't want a full time job now that we moved down here, my husbands job is stressful enough, so I decided to Substitute teach, to see if I had regained some of my passion. I have loved doing it (most days), and really would like to go back to teaching. HOWEVER, through subbing, it has reconfirmed the fact that I do much better with older students (ie- 6th grade and above). So, since we decided I would get a full time job next year (if and only if I got offered a middle level position), I needed to update my licence to include 7th-9th. This required four classes, and three of them were offered both at the graduate level and undergraduate. Of course the graduate level ones are a bit more advanced, but I took them to at least get started in that direction. They all focus on middle school curriculum.


More then that, I have a real problem with a professor who makes us by HIS book, and subscribe to a research journal that HE is editor in chief for, and do our first paper on a term HE coined.... but to put the cherry on top of this guy... he sent out an email to everyone YESTERDAY (Saturday) saying that our first paper was past the due date, and if we hadn't turned it in, then we should get it to him ASAP.  Granted- I completely forgot about the paper (I'm apparently not good with online courses), the assignment said it wasn't due until 10am January 25.  In my world that is Monday, how about you all?  Does your calender say the 25th is Monday... ok, just checking!  I wrote my paper this afternoon, and sent it to him with a note saying that I'm very sorry it was late, and I'll accept any penalty points that may be associated with that.  I also put that I must have been confused, because the assignment page said it had a due date of January 25.  (passive aggressive... I think not...). He responded, 'not to worry' and that I will get full points.  :)  Yea for me!

Beyond that today I had a clusterfuck of a fight with my husband over stupid mp3 players.  As much as I hate going back to college, I hate I-pods even more!  I hate, hate, hate I-pods!  I don't understand them, but I guess it comes down to I'm not smart enough to figure them out.  Don't even get me started on I-tunes... holy hell.  Trav's Mom and Step Dad always give us cash for Christmas.  This year we paid our homeowners dues (exciting hunh), and that left us each with just over 100 bucks.  I love this, because I can blow it on ANYTHING I want, and he can't say a damn thing!  I decided to buy myself and mp3 player, since I've been working out.  The workout music sucks (don't they all), so I came up with my own soundtrack.  He set up a play list file (is that what it's even called?) in I-tunes, and told me to drag and drop.  So I went through all his songs and dragged and dropped... the next day he asks me if I knew what happened to his 'mix' play list.  It was gone.  I guess I did something, though I don't remember the computer asking me 'are you sure you want to delete this play list'.  Who the hell knows... again, further proof I'm not smart enough for the whole i-revolution.

I bought myself this nice little Phillips player, with easy to navigate buttons and screens and everything.  I was so excited, so after I wrote my paper, I went to plug my laptop into our external hard drive where I was TOLD all the music was.  Negative ghost writer.  Maybe 1/10th of all the songs in his i-tunes library was on there... the 1/10 that I have ABSOLUTLY NO DESIRE TO LISTEN TO... by the then emotions are high, he's not willing to help, I'm not really willing to ask, so I say screw it, and package my mp3 player back up to return it, because if I can't get freaking music on it, it's become a REALLY expensive paperweight.  Other issues get brought up and I walk away, go grab a stack of 'old school' cd's and my big cd player/boom box thing and go to the bedroom to work out with an OLD N'Sync album blaring.  I'm sure he LOVED that his playoff games had the soundtrack of N'Sync today... but right now, I DON'T care.   

Workout wen't well, 'official weigh in' is tomorrow, so we shall see how well they have really been going!

Holy WORKOUT Batman

*** I met to post this Saturday- Oops!***

I've been doing Slim in Six for the past (almost) two weeks.  I've actually even seen results (even on the day that I consumed approximately 127 Animal crackers... I kid you not!)

Yesterday I was so exhausted, I took a two hour nap from 4-6, and then went back to bed at 9:30 and slept another 12 hours.  Needless to say, working out didn't happen yesterday.  I usually take my break days on Sunday, and to prevent beating myself up over skipping a day, I decided Friday was my rest day, and I'll work out on Sunday.  So I woke up this morning, got up (after looking at blogs for over an hour...), updated and posted a blog, and went to go get my dvd going.

Holy Hell!  I was so proud of my self on Thursday for being able to do all the 'leg' moves on my right leg, (still couldn't do them on my left 100% of the way, but what can I expect from a knee that has gone through FIVE knee surgeries).  Today was a COMPLEATLY different story.  I didn't get 20 minutes into my workout and I thought I was going to die (the same workout I've done for 4 days in a row and have NEVER felt like this).  Usually I can rest for 2 or three reps and then pick right back up.  Not today.  I started shaking, got light headed, even felt like I was going to throw up.  I finally gave up, and stopped. 

As I've said before, I think that we have both mentally checked out of this cycle, so I haven't been looking for pregnancy symptoms... until this morning.  I googled 'lightheadedness' and 'pregnancy' and holy hell, Dr. Google said that lightheadedness could be a pregnancy sign, along with tiredness!  Why these didn't slap me upside the head before now, I don't know.  SOOO.... I really hope that today was just a glitch in my workout, because I actually am enjoying doing them.... unless it means that I'm pregnant, and then my hope is that the stupid lightheadedness sticks around for nine months!  (note- I felt like I was going to pass out while unloading the dishwasher, and vacuuming... literally, almost fell had it not been for Trav and/or the wall that caught me.)

Oh well, we shall see in the coming days.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I tried

I tried.
I really tried.
I really, really tried.
But I would be telling all of you a lie if I said I didn't sneek a peak on my bloging hiatius!

I would sneek a peak every few days to see what was going on, usually just reading the little bit that is in my blogger dashboard.

I'm weak.

I caved in. 

I missed you all!!!

So, without going into a big long paragraph of what I've been doing while hiding out, I decided to fall back on one of my favorite things.... a bulleted list!

*Started Master's classes (blah... and that's all I have to say about that!)
*Started doing Slim in Six.... Oh.My.Gosh
       -lost 4 lbs. the first week and 2 inches.  Holy hell... this might be worth it!
       -today I saw a number on the scale that I haven't seen in over 15 months... before I got pregnant with my Sea Monkey
*Started doing 'family counseling' with my husband, step daughter, and her mother.  Joy.
*Began having anxiety attacks throughout the day (see above for reasons' why...)
*Had my honey and his Dad install a light in our front entry way.  No more dark cavern!
*And fix a light in a closet that wasn't working
*And replace a light in my bathroom... and add a dimmer.
*And install an motion sensor floodlight in the back yard.
*Decided that we weren't on a PERMANENT break, we will discuss options in April.*small victory*
*Decided I would teach full time next year (not sure if I'm excited about that)
*Applied to teach summer school.
*Finished and sent out my Christmas Cards... yes, I am a month behind, I know this...
*I'm sure there is much much more... I'm exhausted from these last two weeks... actually maybe just these last few days, does that mean there is something growing inside of me? 
*I guess I'll need to mosey on down to Wal Mart and pick up a test for Monday morning...

I've caught up reading almost all the blogs- 282 posts I'll have you know!


Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm back

Well, sorta.  There is no way tonight (or at least until I climb into bed) that I can post a long blog about where I've been, and what I've done.

Nothing to terribly exciting going on though... except if we have a BFP at the end of this two weeks we will have to question our sanity... at least for the moment!

*que the husband just getting home from work* 

I suppose that I should go get going on dinner.  Damn.

I need a wife!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Valentines Day Swap

Ok, I've come out of hiding (which I will be back in as soon as I 'publish'), but only because it's a really good reason!!!!

It's time for another swap!

This time, love is in the air and its time for Valentine's Day!

Sign up will be open all week, until Saturday January 23.

The rules are pretty simple, there is a $10 limit and you should mail out your package by the second week of February so that they arrive round about Valentine's Day

I however, am NOT the great inventor of this idea, this needs to be credited to The Mrs. over at Trying Our Best.

So.... go check her out HERE and sign up!!! You don't have to be a 'blogger' just leave your e-mail in the comments and she'll get you included!
Maybe we'll get eachother!

Thursday, January 14, 2010


So, I guess I have offically entered my two week wait.


I think that I have already mentally checked out of this cycle. 


I also have had a rough couple of nights, the anxiety is coming back.  In two weeks, if I don't see two lines, I think I'll go to my doctor about getting on some sort of anxiety medicine. 

The stress of my husbands job, combined with the stress of now living in the same town as my step-daughter and her mother, and having to deal with her behavior issues (yea for having to go to 'family counseling' all five of us....  shes fine at my house, just because she is a terror at her moms... how is that MY problem.) and academic issues (which I now tutor her two nights a week, which is fine, I actually enjoy that, but point blank, its one more thing that I have to prepare for every week).

My classes have also started so that I can transfer my teaching licence.  Ugh.  I found out yesterday that I HAVE to take a class, that I have ALREADY taken, and actually my requirements were well above the requirements this college has.  The head of the Education department happens to teach two of my classes, so he is in my corner, but still.... to have to re-do all the stuff I've done is AWESOME!

As you can tell from this post, and the fact that it is dripping with sarcasm, that is the status of my life, so for this two week wait, I will be minus the blog... next time you hear from me you'll know if this cycle worked or not! 

I'll probably not even log in to read your blogs, but will dedicate a whole day to catching up when I'm 'back'.  Unfortunately, I'm taking an online course, and the other ones use 'BlackBoard' to submit assignments and such, so I'll still be near e-mail, so drop me a line!   :)  (actually, I think right now I would enjoy detoxing from ALL types of technology... just don't see it happening).

See you on the flip side of this 2ww!


For my Grandmother.
They smell wonderful!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Today my grandmother was whisked away to heaven.  I have never met her, but she knew me, and loved me.  You see, she was my birth mothers mom. 

I called my mom to talk to her and see how she was doing.  I know the past few days have been a struggle.  We talked about her family, and everything that had been going on.  She then asked me  how things were.  I told her about my first few days of college have been, and that this is our last fertility cycle, at least for a while.  And how we are very seriously thinking about giving up on my body, and moving on to adoption. 

She stopped me, and with tears in her eyes, and her voice cracking, she told me that she knew exactly what her mom was doing right now.

She was up in heaven, and right now, she is holding on to each of my babies. And loving on them. And taking care of them until the next grandparent shows up to help. 

My husband and I had wanted to send some flowers, but didn't quite know how to do it (not everyone is so... um... how do we say it... 'ok' with the fact she gave me up for adoption (like her sisters)).  Also, her youngest daughter doesn't know that I exist.  We were just going to sign them somewhat anonymously, but were torn on what to do. 

She told me that the one thing I could do to honor a grandmother I never met was to buy flowers, but not for the service, for our home.  And that I needed to get flowers that had a strong smell, because just like people, she felt that "if they were beautiful, but had a cold heart, they weren't worth their time". 

It's not enough to be just beautiful, you must be fragrant too.

Needless to say we cried, and she told me how her mother rocked all her grandbabies, and she would do the same for ours.  How she held them with a hand over her heart.  How, if my husband beats me up there, she will show him just the right way to do things!

So they were tears, but tears because my heart was touched, and not tears of sadness.

So tomorrow, there will be a beautiful bouquet in our home, and as we pass it, and enjoy it, we will think of my mom, and my grandmother.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Sad game...

I've decided that my happiness shouldn't be determined by men running around in stretchy pants.... 

but sadly that decision was made AFTER the Green Bay game last night.

This was me before the game....

Got my jersey (and for those of you that noticed.. yes, it's a Brett one... he will forever have a piece of my heart... even if hes being spiteful right now!)

Interestingly enough this article duplicates the very in-depth conversation my mom and I had about the last play this morning on the way to my RE's appointment.

Speaking of that... a 'near perfect' (in the doctor's words) follicle on my left size at 20.2 mm.  I triggered tonight (during my first Masters' class!), and we will have our 'date night'  (actually in this case date morning... I HATE those...) on Wednesday.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Hijacked date

A few days ago I asked Trav if we could do something tonight, since we wouldn't have my step-daughter.  He looked at me kinda funny like I was missing something... huge.  I thought about it, had I invited his boss over for dinner, or promised to watch some of our friends kids.... nothing rang a bell. Then he said it.



Saturday nights are my date night... apparently not if the Cowboys are playing. 

I told him he could at least make me dinner and light some candles.

And he did, tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches.  And there was even a candle that was lit on our coffee table, that he tried to claim as a 'completion' of our date night... but he just got lucky with that one!

Tell me, can you possibly have nay more Cowboys crap in one photo....  I think not!

(which if you look really close at the 'fringe' part of it, there is the
green showing, from the other side that is Green Bay fleece)

I just have one question....

Friday, January 8, 2010


No, I'm not talking about my husband... well, I guess I am...

He's not whipped by me... (don't I wish!)

No he is whipped by the happiest boy I know....

Who is really cute...

And most of the time melts my heart....

But sometimes is a "shit-head" (also one of his common nick-names)

Yes, it's true, my husband is whipped by our little boy Baxter...

Baxter has ZERO body fat, so only goes outside on cold days like this (-18* wind chill-  really, this isn't freaking Alaska, it's the Midwest!) to do his business and run back in.

An HOUR after we let him in he was still kinda shivering and doing this little whine he does when he isn't happy.  My husband gets OUT OF BED, rummages around in my step daughter's bedroom, and goes to get the little heater we have...

He would never do that for me.  Of this I'm positive.

Baxter snuggling up with the heater blowing on him.... really?  REALLY?!?!

Shoveling Snow

So today was our second snow day in a row... (read previous post that details my previous post)

I went outside because I needed a break from the madness that was the inside of my house (just imagine FIVE Christmas trees in various stages of being de-decorated.... 'nuff said!).

I went to go scrape my driveway from where I had driven over the snow and it got compacted and icey.


Then I got into a groove, and the snow was swirlling around (yes... it is STILL lightly snowing...I'm so over this), and didn't really want to go inside, so I decided to go shovel around my neighbors van.

My wonderful neighbors are fostering 3 kids, a 16 month old, and twin 4 month olds.

I *heart* my neighbors.

After I did around their van, I did in front of it, and then on the side, the I decided that I'd do the whole drive way... did I forget to mention that we all have 3 car driveways???  It was really cold, so cold that the water I was drinking (and had set on the back of my car, in the garage!) started to freeze.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!

Ok, so it's not a great picture... but there is ICE floating around in there!!!

So, I guess that was my random act of kindness this week!

But, now that it's done, it felt good to work that hard.... though I'm ALREADY feeling the ache in my lower back in shoulders!  This could be bad.

Really bad.

I'm thinking that now that I'm on to Bud Light bottle #3, it might counteract the ache that is forming, that and maybe a hot bath.... with a good book....

Snow Day #2!!!


The morning started off with an ultrasound... still not much to report, a 16.2, 13.7, and 11.4....

Three more nights of shots, and I head back there on Monday.  I picked up my trigger shot today, so I'm ready to go on Monday if the follicles grow up where they are supposed to be!

Spent the middle of the day with a good friend as she played 'tour guide' for the local college.  She showed me where my classes were going to be, we got my parking pass, student id (holy crap-I'm a student again), books, and tuition paid.  YEA!  Masters classes start Monday.  Travis is freaking out because of the amount of money that just exited our account (and actually we didn't pay for the actual classes, just the activity fee, parking pass, and books!).

This afternoon I locked myself in my house... and DE- DECORATED!!!!  YEA!!!

I can say there is not a speck of Christmas decor left in my house.

Well, actually it's all still in my house, but at least its all packed up nicely, and sitting in tubs in my kitchen.

I knew that if my husband came home to the mess his OCD would hit overload, so I advised him to stay away.

He had enough work at the office to spend the time while I worked.  I sent him updates as each tree came down (if you remember there were five!).

I told him that on his way home, it would be great if he dropped by the store to pick something up for me.... it wasn't dinner I wanted!!!

I had moved the tree that was in my kitchen into the living room to mop the floor.

Buckets open and ready to be stuffed!

After several hours (and a short 'break') stacked and ready to go up to the attic.

My 'errand' I had Trav run.... UMMMM.... so good

I'm two bottles in with the goal of finishing it tonight!  Except, all I've eaten all afternoon is cheese flavored rice cakes, (ie-not much) so I'm starting to feel it.... maybe I should go make a sandwich!

Thursday, January 7, 2010


I actually really enjoyed my "Real Housewives"... well, part of it, Lynn and Gretchen still annoy the hell out of me. 

I thought it was very thoughtful for Vicki to plan that whole trip for her and Don.  And their vows were awesome.  I almost cried... ok, there were tears, they just didn't run down my cheeks.

I'm off to shoot up for hopefully the last time this cycle (well, there is still the trigger).  I'm feeling a bit 'achy' down there and wonder how many dominate follicles are growing! 

Ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow morning, and then headed to the University to go pay for my classes... joy!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Blue Balls

This post isn't nearly as exciting as the title might lead to....

That being said, I substituted for a PE teacher today.  Ok, fine, no big deal. 

Ya. Right.

This was literally my instructions

**Meet students in health room***
Loco-motor activities
Duck Duck Goose/ Simon Says

***Meet students in gym***
Loco-motor activities
Freeze Tag

Really?  That's all you can give me???  What kind of stretching, what kind of activities.  Well, I figured I could just ask the students what they normaly did. 

Except my first class was kindergartners.  Oh. My. Gosh.  Things I learned about Kindergartners today:

They don't know how to tell you something, they have to show you.
It doesn't matter if you have reminded them to raise their hand.  15 times.  They still won't.
They are very whiny.
They can say 'teacher' 4 times in one sentance.
Though we've had snow on the ground  for over a week, they spent the first 5 minuets after they walked in the health room standing at the window screaming "snow, snow,snow!"
I am not able to deal with 25 kindergartners for more then 1/2 an hour and still keep my sanity.

I'll take middle school kids ANYDAY!

The second class was 1st grade and they went in the gym and did the stretching, activities, and freeze tag.
The way they play freeze tag is by getting one of those rubber playground balls and that's what they tag the people with.  The balls they have are all blue.  Ever few minuets or so, I would have the two students that were 'freezing' people find a friend who hadn't been a 'freezer' and pass the ball on.

It went something like this:

"Ok first graders, if you are someone who is freezing now, please pass the blue ball's onto a friend who hasn't had a change to freeze" 

There was one of the janitors that was in the corner, who wasn't very old, under 30 (unlike most janitors around here are grandpa aged), and he about died laughing.  It took me a second to realize what I said.  Since we switched ever few minuets, I tried adjusting it to "please pass the 'freezing' balls to a new friend", "please pass your balls to a new friend", "please pass what you're holding on to freeze people with to a new friend"....

Ya, none of them really worked.

And the janitor and I laughed.

So in my 4 hour assignment, I had 2 half hour classes.... and I made a bagillion copies for other teachers with the other three hours of my day...

Tomorrow I'm teaching Science at a High School.  I bet I wouldn't have been lucky enough to have the 'blue ball' comment go over their heads!

But really, right now I'm doing the snow dance, and hoping that we have a snow day... that would be SO nice- I could get my Christmas decorations down!

Blog Delurking Week

This week we are celebrating all of the lurkers of the world.

You know who you are, the ones who read but never comment.

Maybe you are family, maybe 'long lost friends' (or really just friends the military has made us move from) or a fellow blogger! 

So this week, leave a comment. Say hi. Wave!

Lots of love to all of you lurkers! Common' delurk already!

High School Again

We have been getting snow, and where we live, our streets don't get plowed.  Growing up in New Mexico, I didn't have a whole bunch of experience driving in snow, so I would prefer not to.  If I don't have to go out in it, I don't.

Last year, when we lived in Kansas City, I ended up in the center grassy area of the highway trying to get home one night.

Good thing my husband has a big truck!  He came and rescued me.

Since he doesn't have 'set' hours at work, I asked him if he would drive me Monday morning to my substituting assignment.  I felt like I was back in high school as he dropped me off, I leaned over and gave him a kiss, and grabbed my back pack (what I keep all my stuff in for subbing) to jump out.  It kinda made me laugh!

He came and picked me up too, and what a great day to end a day at school, with my honey waiting for me. 

Another reason I feel like I'm in high school again is all these damn pimples.  Ho. ly. cow.  I never broke out like this when I WAS in high school.  And never before this bad when I have been on any of the other fertility drugs (Clomid, Femera, or the Bravelle the last few months).  Something changed, and I don't like it.  It seems like every time I look in the mirror, more have popped up.  They aren't big, just tiny little white heads... but they are everywhere! 


In infertility news, my body took the past 6 Bravelle shots with a grain of salt, and gave me nothing.

Well, I guess not 'nothing', I have three follicles growing, one is 12mm, and the other two are 10.8/10.9mm.

Three more shots, and we will see where things are at on Friday.

How cold is cold?

Southern Missouri has been blasted (ok all my family in Wisconsin, just skip this post... I could NEVER live there... I'm to much of a wuss) with winter weather and cold temperature. 

It's cold.

It's damn cold.

It's colder then fucking Alaska! (I checked with a friend!)

It's so cold that our outdoor digital thermometer read's blank....


Are you kidding me?

Can I just stay home in bed?

*** news just said another five inches*** joy.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Puppies+Snow=Pure Joy

I can honestly say that our dogs really get on my nerves, but they also give me so much joy.  There are often times that they will do something that all I can do is smile, and enjoy the moment.

We had gone out to Houlihans tonight for the purpose of eating desert.  Whenever we go out to eat, we are always to full to eat the yummy deserts, and that makes me sad! We shared a meal (fish tacos), I had a martini (Key lime pie.... to. die. for), and had the s'mors fondue!  The plate had graham crackers glazed with something sweet, strawberries and a pot that had the bottom inch or so full with chocolate, and the top 2 inches with melted marshmallows!  It was amazing, and my love fed me chocolate (and marshmallow) covered strawberries.  The restaurant was almost empty, and we enjoyed ever minuet we were there (including the 20 min we sat before a waiter came.... did I say the restaurant was almost empty!).  We rented a few movies, (The Hangover and The Taking of Phlegm 123) and went home to enjoy the rest of our 'date night.  After the movies, he went to let the dogs out and was shocked to see that it was snowing. 

Our Great Dane, Tara, loves the snow.  L-O-V-E-S it.  It's really funny to watch her. She likes eating it, and running in it, and playing with it, and catching snow balls....We both got on our coats and shoes and went out to play with the four of them.  We are puppy-sitting Sasha for a friend of ours.

Like I said, she loves to eat it....

Her 'tongue' prints all in a row where she was licking as she walked around the corner of the house!  We laughed so hard when we saw that.  Like a true, hurts your side, belly laugh.  It felt good.

Stocking Stuffer

We JUST opened up our stockings!  We had celebrated Christmas at my in-laws, and my step daughter hadn't come to our house yet to open her presents here, so they sat there untouched.  I always stuff my husband's and step-daughters, but no one ever stuffs mine... until this year!  While my mom was here, she bought me some gummy bears from Harry and David!  Yum!

The dogs were anxious to know if there was anything in the stockings for them.  There wasn't, but they were awful interested in the ring pop's!

Wedding Bells!

On New Year's Eve, my sister in law got married.  It was a small ceremony at a local (kinda) cave.  We didn't get to tour the whole cave, just the room that they were married in, and the next room over.  It was beautiful!

The bride and my husband doing the "Napoleon Dynamite" 'glamor shot' pose... I think I have about 12 other family gatherings that have pictures duplicate to this....

This will be the lake that we retire at.... come hell or high water!

Picking out where he thinks we might want to live?!?!

Is it just me... or are we going to be in trouble in about 10 years!   She was really nervous about holding her aunts bouquet, but she finally did, and I think this might be one of my favorite pictures of these two!

Goodbye Christmas

Now that the holiday season is officially over, the lights came off the house today, and I think tomorrow the other decorations will begin being put away.  It was an emotional holiday season, both joyous and full of sorrow.  Great things were celebrated like our anniversary, a wonderful time with family, my sister in laws wedding and more.  But there was also grief that came with knowing we lost another child, and that my husband was at the end of his line when it came to fertility treatments.  It doesn't mean that we won't have a child, we will, but I will never have a little boy with my husbands amazing eyes, or his crooked jaw that made me fall in love with him.  That will be a sadness I forever hold in my heart.

One thing that we found this holiday season was Candy Cane Milk....

Never had it....

Never herd of it?????

You gotta try it!

It's AMAZING! :)

Quote of the Day

I sent this picture to my husband one day earlier this week, I was so proud of myself!  I cleaned off the desk in our office!

His responce to the picture message....

"It's wood!, I thought it was made of paper"


Friday, January 1, 2010

A new year

This past one wasn't all bad.... but overall it wasn't great either.

No deployments, but a move that took me away from a house and friends that I loved.

A new town to learn, but living close to my step-daughter.

But when I think about this year, IF seems to be the headliner.  I was diagnosed with PCOS in February, had surgery in the spring, started with an RE in early summer, few cycles with him, got pregnant in the fall, lost the baby, diagnosed with MTHFR, got pregnant in the winter, lost that baby.... so ummm ya, that sums it up!

A year from now, I'll either have a baby in my arms if this cycle is successful, or we'll be in the process of starting adoption.

Que Sera Sera-  What ever will be will be!