SUCK ON THAT!

Dear Professor Douchbag,
Yes, I think your an asshole for making me buy your book, and subscribe to that stupid website, and the fact that you don't know your own freaking assignment due dates.  However, that is not the purpose of this letter.  After your reminder that all papers after this point are late, I got my butt in gear, and I spent LESS THEN TWO HOURS on my dumb paper all about the term YOU so famously coined all those years ago (ummm... can we say ego?!).  It was utter bliss to read your response of "Superb Job Jennifer!".  It further made my heart fill with joy to read "Exceptionally well written, Jennifer".  SUCK ON THAT!

Your 'hard working' student,
Jennifer

I am a Fucking Paper-Writing Rockstar!!!

Ok, now all of you that think I'm a total slacker, I really am not.  It's not in my nature to leave things to the last minute (and Mom, if your reading this quit laughing... and ignore the f-word a few lines up).  I really do try to be on top of things, but I'll be honest, right now more things then I care to admit to have fallen through the cracks.  Such is life.  *que anxiety attack*.

Wow, I feel so much better!  Now if only my Brett can win this game, and then win the SuperBowl, then he can retire, and he and I can forget about these past two years and we can be friends again.