Thursday, August 15, 2013


When Alex was a little over a month old, we said goodbye to our home.  We had to move because of Travis' job.  Though we were excited about the change, (and our new home!), it was sad to say goodbye.  We had to leave the place we brought both of the boys home to and made so many memories in.  It was a gloomy, rainy, day when we had our last kiss in this house. Trav left with the dogs and a full truck a few hours before I finished up the cleaning and loaded up the boys.  We went and stayed with my inlaws for over a week while we waited to close on our new home.

It was a whole cluster getting the new house closed, but we did.  Trav went up a few days ahead of me to get started on the cleaning.  It was g-r-o-s-s!  We had bought a forclosure, that we loved, but it needed some work!  Trav cleaned/repaired for 3 days before I joined him with the boys.  My Mom flew in, drove with the boys and me, and we joined him.  

This is our first meal as a family at the new house (on the deck... pretty sure between that and the finished basement, what sold Trav on the house!)

We had friends come up over Labor Day weekend to help us get the house 'liveable'.  It need repainted.  Needed a dishwasher. Needed doors installed. It needed a lot. 

Isaac helping paint the ceiling.

We have used over 29 gallons of paint.... and 14 gallons of texture (two boys will be in this house, we needed texture walls! And since we had to repaint everything, why not!)

The first version of our 'to-do' list.  It still exists, but we're currently on page 3....

How we lived for 3 weeks in the house until new carpet was installed and our household goods delivered.  Living with the boys, and whatever we could pack in my car and his truck was a challenge!

When our household goods got delivered, I had to check off the boxes that have the stickers on it.  Isaac helped us take off the stickers...

Household goods are here!  I was unpacking as fast as I could (kitchen stuff) so that we could send the paper/boxes with the movers they left. 

Luckily for us, Alexander was going through a growth spurt during these times, so besides feeding him, he slept.  

We've now been in our new home for 3 months.  It's starting to feel like home.  We've got *most* of the boxes unpacked, but feels like there is always one more in a closet.  Now it's about making it home, getting the boys back into a routine, and hopefully finding some new friends!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

So... he's here

Well, Little Bear made his appearance... almost 4 months ago!  Since then we have packed up and moved or house, lived with my in laws, rehabbed a foreclosure, and settled into our new life as a family of 4, and a new job for Travis.

I'll start with the most important piece of this, Little Bear!

He came 10 day's before my scheduled c-section.

I'll just leave you with a bunch of pictures of his cuteness!

April 15, 2013

In the recovery room with our little guy

Get to go home, with both my boys.  Isaac wanted to be on my lap just like the baby was!

First night at home

One of our first days home, Isaac loves crawling into bed in the morning and help 'burp' Alexander.

From our newborn shoot.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


I looked at my blog, and realized the header was way out of date... six miscarriages seems so long ago, when we're now at 8, and have this surprise, successful pregnancy!

Well, I'm at 34 weeks.  And this baby boy is big, or feels big.  Maybe just long.  I've had several ribs dislocated by him, and thankfully my doctor is a D.O. and is happy to do minor adjustments to get them back in place.

I'm feeling a bit more prepared to bring Little Bear home. Because we are moving so soon after his birth (within 2 months), we're not making up a 'room' for him here.  He'll stay in our room in a pack and play for that time, and once we get into our new house, we'll get the crib, pick the theme, etc. However, that also means that we don't have any furniture for him yet, or a place to put the things we've gotten ready for his arrival   My Mom came into town a few weeks ago, and we pulled out all of Isaac's newborn and 0-3 month clothes, and the cloth diapers that I ordered for him have come in.  We found some of the 3 drawer plastic bins that we were able to empty out, and put in our closet with all of Little Bear's things.  Now I at least feel like we can bring him home, and be somewhat organized... somewhat!

Isaac is of course the same amazing little boy he has always been.  I'm afraid he has NO idea what is going to happen in just a few short weeks, and I'm treasuring these last weeks that he's my only son, making sure I spend extra time with him, trying to soak up the moments of just the two of us.

We've had some warmer weather in the past week, so have taken several trips up to our subdivision's park, where he has discovered the joy of the slide.

Daddy also found a ladybug, at first he wasn't so sure, but once it started crawling on him, he was all smiles!

We had a maternity shoot from the same photographer that did our family pictures several years ago and Isaac's newborn pictures, I can't wait to see those, and I'll post them when I get them!

We did another shoot at our CrossFit box with a friend of mine.  I wasn't sure how much I would like doing them, because most of them are of me with a bare stomach, and I'm still pretty self conscience about showing that much skin.  I'm glad it was with a friend, because she made it a lot of fun, and by the end, I had the confidence to show off my big belly!

We're still in the process of editing most of them still, but here is one that is my favorite.  The chalk handprint's are Travis.  

Wednesday, February 6, 2013


I'm writing this post as a distraction from what I really need to be doing... writing Isaac's birthparents a letter.

I'm so torn.  This is the first letter we don't have to write. Per our agreement before placement, we were only required to write to them 5 times in the first year after placement.  Our agency has been less then steller with any kind of contact- going either direction.  They basically said, "Well, that's all you have to do".  I wrote about it here.

We just aren't ok with not writing anything, but this letter is hard.  He's changing so much. He's not a baby anymore... he's becoming a little man.  He has lots of words, and expressions, and opinions.  He's also going to be a big brother.

I'm not sure how to write about that.  I'm still not sure how I feel about it.  It's still surreal.  Like things can change any day.  But, sending them pictures of our holiday celebrations, there will be no denying that I'm pregnant.  Which is fine.  I guess.  Travis reminded me that they aren't reading the letters in real time anyways, who knows when they'll finally request to see them.  That's true.

But still.  It feels awkward, though I'm not sure if we shared that we adopted a second baby would feel any different.

It's just something I've gotta get over... so I guess I'll just get to writing!  But not before I post some of my recent favorite's.

Isaac 'helping' me put clothes in the dryer. I figure this will come in handy in a few months!

He is ALL BOY!!!

On a short day trip, sitting in Daddy's lap while we got gas.

Thursday, January 24, 2013


I now sit just before the 26 week mark.

Past viability.  We know our babies gender.  Yet, it still seems so surreal.  I often will catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror or window I'm walking by, or look down, and see my growing stomach, and be surprised.  If I wake up in the middle of the night, and am still in that 1/2 awake, 1/2 asleep phase, and feel him kick, I'm shocked.

But then I remember.   I'm pregnant.  I have a baby growing, moving, inside of me. A healthy one.  My body is doing what it's supposed to.  Something I never thought it would do.  Ever.

Someone asked me what it is like to be pregnant when we never thought we would be...

When we decided to stop fertility treatments we took some time to adjust to the reality that we would never have a biological child.  We grieved that.  We accepted that.  We healed, and we began the adoption process.

Imagine finding out a friend or family member died.  You cried.  You got angry.  You bargained.  You got depressed.  You finally accepted that they were gone.  You moved on with your life, thinking of them occasional  but feeling healed.  Then, four years later, you're at a function, a wedding or something, and you see them.  How can it be?  They were gone, but now they are here?  How can that be?

I know that's unlikely- but it's the closest comparison I have.

Something that you thought had been gone for so long, no longer an option, no longer a dream is very suddenly a reality.  That is what this pregnancy is.

And it has a whole mess of jumbled emotions that go with it.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

24 Weeks- Vability

This last Saturday, I hit 24 weeks.  For most people who get pregnant easy, have perfect pregnancy's, and simple births, this date means nothing to them.  

For us it was huge.


We've made it.

Every week now is just more and more amazing.

We also celebrated New Year's in true 'parenthood' fashion.  I watched a movie (thank's pregnancy for making sleep rare!) and woke my husband up at midnight for a kiss! 

Some Updates

I'm still behind on editing.... but here are some of his monthly pictures. It's so easy to take a million pictures, I'm even good at organizing them on my computer.  It's weeding through the million to find the best ones that I suck at.

 I think I left off at five months, and it's so awesome to see how much he's changed in the last year or so!