First, I have to remind any new readers, after my miscarriage last October (the one where we saw the heartbeat and everything...) I was done. I figured they should just tie my tubes while they were doing the D&C. Didn't ever want to try again. My husband
We have tried, and tried... and been somewhat 'successful'. If you count your success by positive pregnancy tests. In fact, in our last 3 medicated cycles, I've gotten pregnant.
However, I don't count a positive test as a success, I need a baby in my arms to feel successful.
We talked about our 'plan' we are going to embrace. We will try these next two cycles before he leaves for about 8 weeks of training. During those 8 weeks, we'll let my body do what it wants, no drugs to keep my cycles regular, nothing.... and then depending on how we feel after that break, we might start up again, or we might just move on.
My husband said something that has stuck with me, "It's pretty bad when you don't get excited anymore when we find out we're pregnant. We just spend all the time waiting for the other shoe to drop"
So, then I asked him (and I'll ask all of you too...) Is it better to KNOW that we can at least get pregnant, even if I haven't been able to carry the babies. Or would it be tougher to have spent all this time and NEVER seeing a positive test (like a friend I know... ). We decided it's right along the same line of it's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all.
Tomorrow we start it all over again. I go in for a baseline scan (also to make sure they don't see anything out of the ordinary), and blood work (to make sure my HSG is back to 'non pregnant' numbers), and if those two things check out, I start shooting up again.
** For those of you that don't know, my husband is in the military, which sometimes is a shitty job, but they have kick ass health insurance..... and right now, he's a recruiter for the Air Force, so if you want your husband to get in on the awesome insurance, give him a call! :) haha!