Christmas Eve

We are at my in-laws.

Had a great time last night with Trav's Dad and Step Mom, we had steak, I helped make my first Tiramisu, and ended the night with a movie in Thieu AMAZING home theater (literally like a 16 foot screen, (real screen material like at a theater), Blue Ray Player, Bose sound system, 9 recliners.... it's awesome!) while drinking some Fuzzy Peaches (people outside our family normal people might call this drink Fuzzy Navel....).  Ahhh.... bliss.

For that night at least.

But tonight is Christmas Eve, I'm cramping, and really just want to go home.

I want to cry, but I don't want to ruin everyone else's night, so I just sit here quietly, afraid that if I talk much, I won't be able to hold the tears back. 

So, for now, I just drink my wine....




We went to the ER on Tuesday (with a follow up with my doctor on Wednesday)  I was cramping really funny, not like the 5 other times.... I hadn't eaten much all day, and just felt off.  A girlfriend of mine is a nurse, and thought that I might have a tubal.  Their ultrasound was inconclusive.  I go back to my doctors office again next week for an ultrasound and blood draw again.  Cramp's are still acting weird, usually I cramp bad, really bad, and start bleeding within an hour or two... still nothing, but uncomfortable crams, no spotting yet. 

Is it pathetic that when I was talking to the ER doctor I said "All the other times, it hasn't been like this, this time it's different".  Really pathetic that I've miscarried often enough to know what is 'normal' for my body and what is not.