Thursday, April 21, 2011

N- Not Much

Not much to say... Besides this is my freaking 400th post!!

Holy Shit, I must think I have a lot to say....

But seriously.  I think of all that has happened in 100 posts

100 posts ago, we had just gotten matched with a birth mom.

100 posts ago, we were about to meet them for the first time.

100 posts ago, we were setting our house up for a baby.

100 posts ago, I was thinking about a baby shower.

100 posts ago, (give or take), we celebrated my husband's 30th birthday.

100 posts ago, I has so much hope, and very little reservations.

100 posts later, my heart has been broken.

100 posts later, we grieved together.

100 posts later, we're back to waiting.

100 posts later, my house isn't ready for a baby anymore, most things are packed away.

100 posts later, my hope is gone, and I have a mind full of caution.

100 posts later, a pregnancy announcement brought me to tears.

100 posts later, I dropped off a present at my aunts house because I couldn't bare to go to a baby shower.

100 posts later, I've lost some faith.

100 posts later, I've been lifted up, celebrated with, and been prayed for by my friends and followers.

In 100 posts, I've gained almost 100 new followers.  Many of you started following in the midst of my grief, and for that I thank you.  You didn't know my story, you just offered love. 

At the time, I didn't follow up, and didn't follow you when you started following me.  I was very self centered, and for that, I'm sorry.  So, for all of you, even if you don't comment regularly, but read often, please comment, and let me follow you!!!  (that's the easiest way I think, anyone else got another idea?)


  1. For a "not much to say" post, you said a lot, and very, very poignantly. My heart really goes out to you in this time of grieving and waiting and trying to hope again. (((Hugs)))

    (I'm one of your "newer" followers. ;-)

  2. I'm very late but congrats on 400 posts! I started following you before your failed match (which still chills me and I think about you and your husband often) but just wanted to let you know I'm a regular reader :)