Wednesday, April 6, 2011

E- Expectations

Expectations, we all have them

We have expectations of our life, our spouse, our children (if we have any), our family, our friends, and on, and on, and on.

Is it better to have high expectations, and occasionally be disappointed, or low expectations, and so that things turn out better then planned?

It seems like it's a catch-22.

There are some things that have turned out better then expected.

I complain a lot (a lot- a lot) about the Air Force.  We never expected that Trav would still be active duty this far into our marriage.  I never thought I would be an "Air Force Wife".  I can't say I love it.  But it's our life, and it's treated us well.  We own our home.  We have everything but the truck paid off.  I have the ability to stay home and be a Mom if that's what I want.  There isn't much to complain about when I really think about it.

Another thing that has thrown expectations out the window is my marriage.  I was young and immature when I got married.  I didn't know how to be a wife.  I didn't know what that meant.  I was hard headed, and hurtful.  Looking at our marriage then, and now, it's almost unrecognizable.  And for that I'm grateful.  I cannot imagine living my life without Travis in it.  He is a much better man then I deserve, and he loves me so completely.

As wonderful as our life is now, the expectation that we would be a family hasn't worked out well for us so far.  We tried for several years to conceive our own child, then moved on to adoption, and are now, still waiting.  Yes, we've only been a 'waiting family' for 5 months with our agency... but in reality, we've been waiting for years. 

I guess with the good comes the bad, and there is always bad, so I try to focus on what I can control, and to enjoy the man that comes home to me every day.  And as always, he blows my expectations and gives me so much more.


  1. Now that's an interesting post. As infertile's, do we confuse our 'dreams' with our 'expectations'? If we substitute the words, suddenly the IF stuff doesn't seem so bad.
    For example, I always dreamed of having 2 children is switched to I always expected to have 2 children. Suddenly, only having 1 makes it a lot easier to accept and embrace the circumstances. Suddenly I realize it may have truly been more of an expectation than a dream and it's a lot easier to change my thinking on the matter. Huh.
    Oh, I really like this word!!! This has me thinking.

  2. What an honest post! My life is not what I imagined it to be. I expected to have an almost 3 year old right now. After my daughter was stillborn I was unable to conceive again. That isn't what I pictured my life would be like, but I am happy where it's at.

    I anxiously await news that you're bringing home your baby. :)

  3. I hope all of your dearest wishes come true.

  4. Been there, done most of that-- Not adoption -- we were trying when 2 children were returned to their natural parents 2 or more years later. Scared us away from that.
    So what did I do? I went back to teaching so that I would be around kids during the day. That gave me my kid fix.
    Now at 55, I realize that our life is good. I have two cats and dog and a wonderful husband. No complaints.

    MM the Queen of English