Beta Update

What an day full of emotions... excited for the ultrasound, shear panic, some hope, and then the waiting.  I typed the last post as we were waiting for our food to come to our table after we ordered. 

We went grocery shopping, but had to take two cars.  There was something Trav had to do on his work laptop before he was 'done for the day', so I stayed in my car parked next to him waiting for him to be ready to go.

Then my clinic called.  I could tell by the sound of her voice that it wasn't good news.  I asked her what the beta number had gone up to.  She said she was so sorry, and that it had actually fell.

87.

87 wasn't what I wanted.  I wanted 2287, or I would have even settled for 2187.  But 87?  What a crappy number.

They told me to stop all my medicine, and to come back in for another beta in a week to make sure things were still going down. 

So, we will take time to heal.  Take time together.  Start saving money, and move on to adoption. 

I always figured we would have a few children of our own, and adopt one or two.  It seems that God is showing us that we are to adopt all of our children.  And I'm ok with that.  Or I will be, when I stop being mad, or sad, or whatever it is I'm feeling right now.