Praying for this?

A clotting disorder.

That is what infertility had done to me.  I am hoping and praying that my blood results come back that I have a clotting disorder, and that was the reason for my five (!) losses.  That would be understandable.  We would have a reason.  A crappy reason, but a reason.  A reason that would give us a plan of how to fix it. 

Because if not, then more then likely it is genetic. 

To be more specific, my genes.

It would mean that it is MY fault this keeps happening. 

Something in my genetic material is so screwed up that it ruins everything.

Please God, give me a clotting disorder.  That we can fix with drugs... Please.

Hopefully the blood results come back this week.  But that's me being hopeful.

It was a sad moment when it finally clicked, really clicked, that if the clotting tests came back negative, then the next best guess was my genes were messing something up, (since Trav obviously is doing fine in that area- que beautiful daughter....)