Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hospitals, Surgery and Shots, oh my! *

Luckily, I didn't personally have to experience all of this, but in the last 24 hours, my family is about done with doctors and hospitals!
Yesterday morning my stepdaughter had her adenoids taken out (her Dad had them taken out when he was little too).  She was really nervous about the surgery (and the IV), so they gave her some liquid courage (I don't know what it's really called--- started with a 'v')  Oh. My. Gosh.  She was so loopy it was funny.  She kept trying to reach up and 'touch the wall, because it keeps moving'.  Suddenly her room got a whole bunch cooler, because it had 'two tvs, but they are both on the same channel... change one please".  I feel bad that we were laughing at her, but she won't remember right!   The surgery went well, actually only lasted 12 minuets, but took her a while to get out of recovery.  She is at home with her mom enjoying all the ice cream and pudding she can handle.  I'll go pick her up tonight for her to spend the rest of the weekend with us.

I had to leave the hospital before she was released to go see my Primary Care doctor.  I have been on two rounds of antibiotics and still, STILL am coughing.  It's gotten to the point that migraines have been on the fringe, so I went to go see him.  I guess maybe he's more 'old school' then I thought.  I didn't realize that doctors still gave 'shots' in their office.  It shocked me when he told me the nurse would be in to give me my shot, and then I had to fill a few prescriptions.  I still have bronchitis, but it hasn't moved into anything else. 

And for the most important doctor visit in the last 24 hours... just got home from my RE.  Dr. S first said he was so sorry that we went through this again.  He said that he would count this as a 5th miscarriage, not a chemical pregnancy. 

He began by talking about IVF.  He explained that our recurrent miscarriages might be genetic, and that if that were the case, right before they would transfer the embryos with IVF we could have them check the genetic makeup of each one, and then pick the best ones to transfer... However, he said that is additional cost.  Travis and I know that we will not do IVF.  My issues have never been GETTING pregnant, just staying pregnant.  No way are we going to write a check out for $15,000, and have me loose the pregnancy.  The only check that will be written for that much will be to an adoption agency, right before they hand me my baby...

Though Dr. S doesn't completely agree with everything that my previous doctor did, he did give him props for running every blood test imaginable... except for the Thrombophilia panel.  This deals with mostly clotting disorders, and could be a reason that I am unable to hold on to a pregnancy.  They took about 8 tubes of blood, and will call me when the results are in, probably late next week.  Until then, he told us we need to decide if we want to continue our journey.  I'm not sure, but right now I think I do.  I asked him if it was hopeless, and if we should just stop.  He said no, but that's easier for him to say, because he's looking at it medically, and he doesn't have as much 'skin in the game'.  He's not the one getting the shots, or dealing with the heartbreak like we are.

So I guess the decision will be made in the next few days of where we go from here...

* I committed a IF faux pas- thanks for pointing it out!!! IVF'rs transfer their embryos with HOPES (and prayers) that they inplant... thanks for alerting me! (I blame it on the cold medicine)


  1. Wow. Not the type of shots I thought you meant!

    Maybe I'm sensitive about this, but you transfer embryos in IVF and hope they implant. (Apparently your words really pushed my buttons because there is a lot more I want to say about IVF and how some of us HAVE to take that gamble, but I will resist.)

  2. To Mrs.Higrens.....from someone that has expirenced both IVF and just the basic needs of getting pregnant. Even HAVING to take the IVF route doesnt mean that "everything will be so much better". I personally have gone through 5 years of infertility and still have ended up without a pregnancy or a child. So there is just as much heartbreak as getting to the enduring stage of making the embryos (which is very emotionally and physically exhausting) as there is to the point of actually watching the dr. place them in your uterus! then one week later, knowing that you are pregnant with those embryos, praying each day that they have taken and will continue to grow, just to go in and find out that your beta never did rise, because they didnt take. And then try doing this process over AGAIN! Its worse the second time around and even with 10x the anxiety. I cried the entire time I was in there as my 8 fertilized embryos went from 2 placed the first round. not taking. To 6 frozen and then thawed. only 3 made the process, and 2 were ready to implant. As im on the table ready to get my embryos implanted the dr turns to tell me that only 1 made it out of the whole process. That really increases the anxiety level to where I cried for the entire time. With in a week of that implantation, the beta was negative.
    So next time before you put your words in your mouth.....each of us are different and have to take a gamble to make our journeys. Mine for trying to have children is over. Im 31 and was told by my GYN that im in need of a hysterectomy due endometriosis. So try having the whole thought of never being able to try to have a baby again, at the ripe age of 31yrs just when im getting ready to be remarried again. Thats food for thought.

  3. Hey babe! I don't really like Mrs. H's comment to you! I know what you mean about writing a check and paying for IVF and then having a miscarriage again. Seriously it is hard enough to go through what we are going through but then to lose that kind of money, well, that just makes it suck more! IVF isn't an option until they know why you are miscarrying.

  4. I will always have your back! I know what you meant by your comment! No one understand what we have gone through until they have walked in our shoes. We've lost 9 babies together (4 for me and 5 for you)...that is a lot! Why would we do IVF when we can get pregnant? I would love to do IVF if it meant I would have a baby born in 9 months but I know my body and yours, our bodies don't let our babies grow for some reason. Love you!

  5. Thanks for your comment on my blog. Sounds like you've been through the mill recently, puts my negative into perspective.

  6. My apologies. Everyone above is correct, all of our journeys are different and no one is guaranteed a happy ending - whether we take the gamble to spend the big bucks or not. It was not my intention to imply that it was my business to approve or disapprove of anyone's decisions on this journey.

    I was also certainly not trying to speak for anyone else who has had to make the choice to gamble with IVF (regardless of the outcome). In full disclosure, I've gone through 2 IVF cycles so far, with IVF#1 no eggs fertilized; IVF#2 the fresh transfer failed, the FET with the one remaining embryo succeeded but the betas didn't double and fell after a week. That was two weeks ago today. I'm guessing some of my reaction was fueled by lingering emotions related to that roller coaster.

    My comment was an attempt to express that I knew my reaction was not reasonable and would come off poorly without creating an issue over it. I failed spectacularly.