In a Word

NaBloPoMo.

I did it for two months, November and December of last year.  And then my world fell apart, and I fell of the face of the world.

To get back in the grove of things, I"m going to try it again for March.  The theme for NaBloPoMo this month is "In a Word". 

I'm not sure how this will turn out, but i figured I'd develop 'my take' on it within the first week.


On a completely unrelated topic, I have the best readers ever.  You're comments on my "Discussions" post were amazing. You were so insightful, honest, loving, and compassionate.  But most importantly... you made me feel less alone in the way I was feeling.

I find that IF segregates you.  People know our story, or the basics of it.  But not many know how lonesome it makes me. 

I know lots of people with successful, wonderful adoptions. 
But no one that has experienced a failed match.

I know several people who have miscarried.
But no one that has miscarried six times.

Those are two huge parts to our story, and I don't know anyone else with a story like ours. 

The only other person who has my story, is my husband.  Together, we often go alone to our thoughts and longing to have a family.  No one else understands it completely.  No one knows why we continued with treatments until we all the sudden yelled 'Enough!", and quit suddenly.  No one knows how instantly we loved that little boy, and how our heart hurt.  Because how do you explain that to someone?  You can't.  So, he and I wrestle with these emotions.  Alone.

In a word, today I feel ALONE.