Saturday, January 1, 2011

Failed Match

They decided to parent the baby.
Thoughts from at

115 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 8:25 AM

    So sorry to read this. I will be thinking about you and hoping that you are surrounded by support now and throughout your journey.

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  2. jeniciniJanuary 1, 2011 at 8:28 AM

    I'm so very sorry J. Wish I was there with you.

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  3. ChristaJanuary 1, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    Oh no, I'm so so sorry to hear that. You're in my thoughts.

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  4. StephanieJanuary 1, 2011 at 8:33 AM

    Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. :( My thoughts are with you.

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  5. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 8:36 AM

    I am so sorry! My heart goes out to you!

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  6. ThomasJanuary 1, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    I am so sorry, I've never commented before, but I had to today; I experienced a similar situation 12 years ago, and it was awful. You're in my thoughts.

    Paula

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  7. Suzy, Not a Fertile MyrtleJanuary 1, 2011 at 9:18 AM

    Oh Jen, my heart is just broken for yhou. I don't even know what to say except that I am keeping you in my prayers.

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  8. JJanuary 1, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    Oh Jen...I'm so sorry. This is the hardest part of adoption. It is so raw, painful and debilitating...BUT...I'm here to tell you that your heart will heal, you will move on and you will love another baby again. Big hugs! I would text you but I know right now, you just need your time alone. If you need a friend who gets it, message me. Love you friend.

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  9. Dan and EmilyJanuary 1, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    I'm so very sorry. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  10. kkasunJanuary 1, 2011 at 9:36 AM

    I am so sorry. You guys are in my thoughts.

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  11. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    I am so sorry. I'll be praying for you guys.

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  12. Marie WJanuary 1, 2011 at 9:52 AM

    Oh Jenn, I am so sorry. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. {{hugs}}

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  13. MichaJanuary 1, 2011 at 10:23 AM

    I am so sorry *HUGS*

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  14. AmandaJanuary 1, 2011 at 10:37 AM

    My heart hurts for you two. I wish there was something I could do to take away the pain. You're in my thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))

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  15. AishaJanuary 1, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Been thinking of you Jen. I am so so so sorry. Words can't express it enough. Thinking of you Jen. Sigh. *hugs*

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  16. drew2008January 1, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    I have been lurking and really pulling for you guys. I am so sorry for the pain you are in. Take time to mourn this loss but don't give up your adoption dream! You will have your baby someday and I pray that it is soon.

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  17. E and RJanuary 1, 2011 at 11:05 AM

    So, so sorry to read this! Praying that you will find peace and that you will soon have your baby.

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  18. ChristinaJanuary 1, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    SERIOUSLY!?!?!?! OMG!!! I'm in complete shock over here! I can't even believe it, I am so so very sorry that you are dealing with this. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I pray that you can get through this as quickly and peacefully as possible. Lots and lots of prayers and love your way!

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  19. Mrs. LemonJanuary 1, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    Ugh, crushing. I'm so sorry.

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  20. jillJanuary 1, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Oh no! I'm so very sorry. Sending strength.

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  21. Still A Guest RoomJanuary 1, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    My heart is truly hurting for you. There are truly no words. I am so, so sorry.

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  22. LauraJanuary 1, 2011 at 11:55 AM

    oh my, I don't think I've commented before but I am so sorry that this happened. I know that your forever child will come soon, don't lose heart.

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  23. PCOSChickJanuary 1, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    I am so very sorry to hear this! My thoughts are with you

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  24. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    No, no. I am so sorry! Thinking of you and sending you strength.

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  25. manymanymoonsJanuary 1, 2011 at 12:16 PM

    If I was there right now I would hug you and eat ice cream with you all day. My heart aches for you. Please reach out if you need to ok. I'll be thinking of you.

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  26. Mad HatterJanuary 1, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    I am so upset for you I am shaking right now. I'm so so sorry...it's just so unfair. Thinking of you both.
    Love,
    Maddy

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  27. AmyJanuary 1, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    I am so sorry. There are no words. I am thinking of you and praying for you!!!

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  28. LauraJanuary 1, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    How horrible! I am so so so sorry!

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  29. Mrs. JonesJanuary 1, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    OMG NOOOOOO!!!!! I am so incredibly upset and saddened for you. Oh Jenn, I wish this wasn't the case. I'm so sorry. Enormous hugs to you. xo

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  30. TwoDogMamaJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    I'm so sorry to read this. We had the same thing happen to us in June. It is truly devastating and heartbreaking. We were matched again in October and less than a week later we had our son. Words do not help now I know but if you want to talk please email me at twodogmama@gmail.com or read my blog at unexpectedlifeevents.blogspot.com. Hang in there. Much love and warm thoughts.

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  31. KathleenJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:23 PM

    I am so, so sorry. How unbearably disappointing.

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  32. AubJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    So, so sorry Jenn. I am reading this via Suzy and my heart is so heavy for you and your husband. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  33. S and JJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:27 PM

    Jenn, I am so sorry... If you need to talk or need anything email me :) J

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  34. AlisonJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Your strength is inspiring and amazing. You will be a wonderful mother some day. Keep believing it will happen. You are in my prayers.

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  35. NoelleJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    I am so sorry. I am sorry about the pain and anger that you are most likely feeling. I wish I had the right words to say. I will be hoping for peace for you.

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  36. apluseffortJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    I'm here via Suzy, and I'm so, so sorry this has happened to you. My heart goes out to you and your husband.

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  37. Momma BeeJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    My heart breaks for you, both of you. As I read your blog out loud we both shed some tears for you! We can not imagine nor wrap our heads around the feelings you are having right now.
    We are praying you find strength in one another.

    Hugs from the both of us!!

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  38. Mrs.JoynerJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:56 PM

    I am so sorry..There aren't even words for this. I wish there was more I could do. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  39. MicheleJanuary 1, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Oh Jen... I am so sorry.

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  40. Mrs. MisfitsJanuary 1, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    Oh, honey, this is crushing news. I am so very sorry.

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  41. KristinJanuary 1, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    Here from Suzy's blog...Oh Jenn, I am so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you.

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  42. CarrieJanuary 1, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Oh my - I am so, so sorry. I just came from a link from someone else's blog and hate that I found you at this point and that your dream came true. :(

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  43. KellyJanuary 1, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    Oh no. I'm so, so sorry. My heart is breaking for you.

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  44. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    I found your blog thru a fellow bloggie's link and I cried reading this post. My heart breaks for you. I am so so so so so sorry.

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  45. Blue Moon GirlJanuary 1, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    Found you through another blogger's link that I person I follow on Twitter Re-tweeted. You don't know me and I've never commented before, but I had to comment here.

    My heart is broken for you. I'm so, so, so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you're in.

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  46. quadmomJanuary 1, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    OMG. No. I can't even comprehend what I'm reading, this cannot be happening. Jenn, I am SO sorry. I am heartbroken for you. Truly heartbroken. Praying for comfort for you and your husband. You are in my thoughts. I keep typing and it all sounds so trite compared to the agony you must be in right now. There's nothing I can say ... Jenn, I am truly so sorry.

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  47. MarissaJanuary 1, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    I am so incredibly sorry. Words can't even begin to express it.

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  48. RebeccaJanuary 1, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    I'm so incredibly sorry.

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  49. ASPJanuary 1, 2011 at 5:05 PM

    I am so sorry. Adoption is so hard and the uncertainty is the worst. You will have the perfect situation with the perfect baby. Don't give up. ♥

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  50. rebeccaJanuary 1, 2011 at 5:08 PM

    I'm so, so sorry for the pain you guys are enduring right now. Hoping you feel surrounded by love and support. Sending love your way and hoping you find the strength you need for the coming days ((hugs))
    ~LFCA

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  51. Jessica WhiteJanuary 1, 2011 at 5:11 PM

    I'm so, so sorry....keeping you in prayer.

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  52. JamieJanuary 1, 2011 at 5:18 PM

    Found your heart-wrenching story from Suzy at Not a Fertile Myrtle...I have no words - but my heart goes out to you, and I will have you in my prayers.

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  53. JosJanuary 1, 2011 at 5:31 PM

    I'm so sorry Jenn... my heart is breaking for you. I'm sure there will be another baby in your future soon for you to love. :(

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  54. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    Found your blog through Suzyknits on Twitter. My heart hurts for y'all and I wish that I knew the words to say....please know that I am sending love and support and I'm holding y'all in my heart.

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  55. Melis.saJanuary 1, 2011 at 6:01 PM

    I'm so, so sorry hun.

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  56. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    Hi, I'm here from LFCA and just wanted to say my heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what you must be feeling.

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  57. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    I'm so sorry!

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  58. JessicaJanuary 1, 2011 at 6:50 PM

    Coming over from Suzy at not a fertile Myrtle. I am so sorry your match didn't work out. I've been there, I know all the emotions you've gone through. Take time to heal, to miss him, and then continue forward. Because YOUR baby is waiting!
    Hope to follow along your story now and can't wait for it to get happier. So sorry...

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  59. loribethJanuary 1, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    Here from LFCA. I am so very sorry. :(

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  60. JJanuary 1, 2011 at 7:08 PM

    I am in total shock and my heart is breaking for you both right now. Just know there are so many people here that have you both in our thoughts and prayers. God bless.

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  61. My VegasJanuary 1, 2011 at 7:24 PM

    I'm visiting from Rain's blog.

    This sucks and I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  62. JenniferJanuary 1, 2011 at 7:25 PM

    So fucking unfair..Sorry for the curse. I am so sorry. So feeling for you right now. It's not fair. Hugs, love and anything that will help - that's the energy I am sending to you.

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  63. JessJanuary 1, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    I am so very sorry!! Having been there I know all too well the pain you are feeling. Praying for you and your dh during this time.

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  64. ErinJanuary 1, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    I am so, so sorry. That has got to be absolutely devastating. My heart breaks for you.

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  65. Rebel With.A.CauseJanuary 1, 2011 at 8:21 PM

    I am so sorry. Big hugs to you.

    Erica
    LFCA

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  66. JLJanuary 1, 2011 at 9:25 PM

    I am so very sorry - I cannot imagine how awful this would be. Please take care...

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  67. Cajun CutieJanuary 2, 2011 at 12:10 AM

    So So Sorry.

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  68. Pookey and Me,,,January 2, 2011 at 5:01 AM

    That is positively heart breaking. I'm so very sorry.

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  69. ErinJanuary 2, 2011 at 5:22 AM

    I'm so very sorry.

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  70. Mrs. HigrensJanuary 2, 2011 at 5:41 AM

    oh fuck Jenn. I'm so sorry.

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  71. SueJanuary 2, 2011 at 6:15 AM

    Here from LFCA. I just wanted to say how very sorry I am that you are dealing with this nightmare. I can only imagine the pain you and your husband are feeling. You're in my thoughts. Again, I'm so very sorry.

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  72. Stephanie NicholeJanuary 2, 2011 at 6:21 AM

    Im so sorry to hear that your match didnt go threw! I pray for peace in your heart! I wish I had other words to write to help! <3

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  73. TeeJayJanuary 2, 2011 at 7:38 AM

    I'm so sorry. I really wasn't expecting this post. I told my husband about your story and I showed him the pictures from the hospital. When I told him what happened all he could say, and I totally agree with him is "that's f'd up". My heart is broken for you. I pray that your heart will heal and you can move on from this. (((hugs)))

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  74. marilynJanuary 2, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    This is truly a sad time. I am sorry you and your husband have to go through this. My heart hurts a little thinking of what you are going through right now. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself..:( :( do not forget to breathe. Gosh...I am about to cry now...

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  75. Barely SaneJanuary 2, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    So so so sorry to read this. Nothing I say will make this easier, but man I wish I had something magical that would. :(

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  76. annieJanuary 2, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    I am so, so sorry.

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  77. ~C~January 2, 2011 at 9:42 AM

    I am so, so sorry. How heartbreaking.

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  78. M3MUJanuary 2, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    I am so sorry. :-( *hugs* and lots of them.

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  79. tireegal68January 2, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    I'm here from LFCA. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. This is just horrible news. Please hold each other close and know that many people care and are here for you.

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  80. AnonymousJanuary 2, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    I am so sorry. I couldn't even imagine how you feel right now.

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  81. Wanted: A Pea for My PodJanuary 2, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    I'm so so sorry.

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  82. AnonymousJanuary 2, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    I am new to your story and just wanted to send you a *hug*. I know words right now can't take the pain/hurt away you are feeling. I am so sorry...

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  83. AnonymousJanuary 2, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    I am here via Christa, my heart aches for you both.

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  84. AndreaJanuary 2, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    Jenn,

    I'm Andrea and I have come over from Kelly's blog. My heart aches for you and your husband. As someone who has lost a child I can relate. A loss through adoption is no different and the hole in one's heart hurts so very deeply. I walked this very emotional road with a very dear friend just months ago.

    Many prayers going up for you and your husband.

    Bug HUGS

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  85. debJanuary 2, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    Jenn, I'm very sorry for the loss of the baby. I'm Jenicini's sister. I've been following your journey through her. I pray that you and your husband are able to find peace in this journey.
    deb

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  86. heartinchargeJanuary 2, 2011 at 4:30 PM

    You try to let yourself forget this is possible. So sorry.

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  87. clewisJanuary 2, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    I just started reading and following your blog. Im so very sorry to read this last post. that is very unfair. I really really hope one day you get your wee baby. So so sorry and hope all these comments can give you some help in this hard time. stay strong and look after each other, you are bound to get there. good things will happen. take care

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  88. manymanymoonsJanuary 2, 2011 at 7:09 PM

    Still thinking of you. I hope you're hanging in there.

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  89. Kristi @ Lolly JaneJanuary 2, 2011 at 11:57 PM

    This happened to us, too. It was one of the hardest moments of my life, and of my marriage. We went on vacation, turned off our cell phones and recharged emotionally. A few months later, we were matched again and although we were much more guarded, it worked! That HOPE is what kept us going through the pain and loss. Don't get discouraged; your baby IS OUT THERE waiting for you to find him or her. You never know how things will work out. Take some time to grieve. Stay close, lean on eachother and let people comfort you. Keeping you in thought. Hang in there.

    Best wishes :)

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  90. The ClamJanuary 3, 2011 at 6:06 AM

    I'm just gutted for you both. Thinking of you and praying for you both to heal from this grief.

    Much love
    xxx

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  91. AnonymousJanuary 3, 2011 at 6:28 AM

    I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family as you go through this.

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  92. JanaJanuary 3, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    I am just heartbroken for you. We had a scare at the end of our adoption that things wouldn't work out and it was terrible and I felt how painful and grief stricken I would be if things fell through, so I can just imagine how devastated and angry you and your husband are.
    I am so sorry.

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  93. MarybethJanuary 3, 2011 at 7:21 AM

    My friend Kelly wrote a little note about coming over to give you support - and after reading this there is no way I couldn't. I know we don't know each other, and we haven't even found each other in this blogging world, but my whole heart goes out to you. I can't imagine how hard this is for you, but know I am another person here for you. I'm just so sorry. (((hugs)))

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  94. DanielleJanuary 3, 2011 at 7:25 AM

    I don't know you, but I came here from another blog. Just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you and your husband. I cannot imagine how heart breaking this must be. Even if you're the type who believes everything happens for a reason and that all things work together for good, that belief doesn't make you feel better in times of crisis or loss. Take time to grieve and know that a lot of people are praying for you. I'm going to follow your blog, because I want to keep up with your journey through this. I hope that you're doing okay. It seems you have a lot of people thinking about you. Best of luck.

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  95. Christy and KevinJanuary 3, 2011 at 7:39 AM

    I am so sorry to hear this. It sucks that they let you meet him and fall in love. I am so, so sorry. My heart hurts for both of you. I have never posted before. Did now to show you some love.

    Christy

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  96. MoJanuary 3, 2011 at 8:25 AM

    Oh Jenn, I am so so sorry.

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  97. GeochickJanuary 3, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    I'm so sorry. It's such a difficult position to be in.

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  98. Suzy, Not a Fertile MyrtleJanuary 3, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    Just wanted to let you know that you both continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
    xoxo

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  99. KellyJanuary 3, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    Oh, no....I really wish I would have read this post first. I'm so, so sorry, babe. I can't imagine what you two are going through right now. My thoughts are with you.

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  100. WillowJanuary 3, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    Oh no, I am so very sorry. As an adoptive mom myself, I can only imagine the heartbreak you are going thru right now. Thinking of you.

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  101. Joyful HopeJanuary 3, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    I'm so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts.

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  102. JJJanuary 3, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    I am so incredibly sorry--holding you in my thoughts.

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  103. MarlaJanuary 3, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    I am so sorry to read this :( *thinking of you*

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  104. TashaJanuary 3, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    I am so very sorry you are going through this. You and your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers!

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  105. quadmomJanuary 3, 2011 at 6:08 PM

    I have been thinking of you both so much, Jenn. Praying for you.

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  106. AnonymousJanuary 3, 2011 at 6:25 PM

    I am so very sorry. Thinking about you.

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  107. Mrs. JonesJanuary 3, 2011 at 9:52 PM

    Can't stop thinking about you, Jenn. My heart is with you.

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  108. NoelleJanuary 4, 2011 at 12:02 AM

    I'm still thinking about you and praying for you...

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  109. RDJanuary 4, 2011 at 5:42 AM

    I'm here from Kelly's blog. There aren't even words to express how sorry I am about what happened. You're in my thoughts. (((hugs)))

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  110. AsheAnnJanuary 4, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    I am very sorry to hear about this. I found your blog on http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.com/

    What you are going through is my husband and my biggest fear with adoption. You are in my thoughts. ((hugs))

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  111. UnknownJanuary 4, 2011 at 9:51 AM

    it is with GREAT sadness that I'm commenting on this post. I've been following the story and wanted to comment in the past few days without knowing what to say.
    What I will say is that I am so sorry.
    You guys fully opened your hearts to a baby knowing the risks, and for that you are to be commended.
    Keep faith.
    Keep your heart open. Because your baby, whenever he or she comes, will love you for it.
    Much love & prayers.
    Sarah

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  112. RELHJanuary 4, 2011 at 5:22 PM

    I am so so sorry.

    LFCA

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  113. DeniJanuary 4, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    My heart is broken for you! I'm so so so sad that you got to fall in love with that sweet boy and have him yanked away! I haven't read your whole story and came over from Kelly's blog, but having suffered a failed adoption and having an empty fully ready nursery, my heart breaks over and over again for you. I'm sooo sooo sorry for your loss!

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  114. KimJanuary 4, 2011 at 9:14 PM

    Oh, I am so sorry to hear that!! How awful.

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  115. KimberlyJanuary 7, 2011 at 5:58 PM

    I found you blog through another one and I am so sorry. We just adopted our son in September(Lifetime Adoption) and no matter how much his birthmom said she wanted us to parent, I was still so scared. Your time is near, but I know you are grieving theis baby and you have every right to. I hoping the right match comes soon.

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