Parent.2

We threw out the birth control that Mother's Day Sunday, and were ready!

Being naive in the whole baby making thing, I listened to a friend who told me to have sex 14 days after my cycle started, because that's when I ovulated.  Ok. Easy enough, we can do that!

So we did.

But what I realize now, is that I truly wasn't ovulating regularly.  I had wonky cycles (that I now know is because of PCOS), but didn't think how that would impact getting pregnant at the time.

We 'tried' all summer, but getting closer to the fall, we found out that my husband would be deployed the next summer.  I didn't mind going through the pregnancy without him, but really didn't want him to miss the birth and first months, so we decided to get back on birth control, and just wait until he came back home. 

In October, we waited for my cycle.... and waited... and waited.... They always were off, so 8 weeks between cycles didn't mean much.  We found a house, and closed on it in the first week of November.  That Friday, I had cramps that knocked me out.  I took major pain pills, and it did nothing to them.  I even comment to my husband, "I haven't hurt like this since I was miscarrying my baby in college".

I said that not thinking that I could possibly be miscarrying again...

For those of you that have gone through a miscarriage, you can tell the difference between the 'discharge' of a cycle, and a miscarriage.

That afternoon, the first clues started, telling me this was something more.  When the baby passed, I knew.  We called my primary care physician, told them what was happening, but since we lived 45 minuets away from the base, and it was already 4:00 on a Friday, they told me to 'collect' what I could, and go to the ER.

The doctors confirmed that I was indeed 6-7 weeks pregnant based on what we were able to collect, and told me to watch my bleeding to make sure I didn't start hemorrhaging.  They sent me home with pain pills.  My husband called our families to tell them what happened. 

I cried.

My first opportunity to become a parent with my husband was gone.