This can't be good

My husband laughed at me this weekend, because when he was using my computer, he saw this page (its what pops up when you open a new tab).  Its all the sites that I frequent, in the order that I frequent them....

What he found most interesting, is that Blogger and Face book were the most popular two, then my email accounts.... then our bank, then TMZ, YouTube, my blog (I was trying to change formatting, so I re-loaded the page a lot!), and then.... last but not least... my college.  This is where I have to sign in to get my e-mail, my assignments, my grades, and turn stuff in.

I thought it was a bonus that it was even in my top 9... he didn't quite see it that way!

I'm here

I'm still around, I'm still reading, and I'm still commenting (mostly), but gosh.  I feel like I don't have much to write about.

We had a conversation about adoption last week (9 days ago) that went rather well. 

We had a conversation about adoption last week (8 days ago) that went rather bad (screaming and everything).

We had a conversation about adoption last week (7 days ago) where it was decided that I was able to run both scenarios in my head- fertility treatments and adoption, so when one path ended, I just moved to the left a little and kept on going.  However, he did not.  He 100% was focused on fertility treatments and now that that door closed, he is having to readjust his GPS and start heading down the adoption route.  He's put in the final destination of "Adoption" but his brain is still "Calculating" how to get there... so ummm... ya.

That's about where it stands.  He's calculating, and I'm doubting.  I was talking to my mother in law (his step mom) this weekend, and she said that that is how the men in this family are. 

I just feel like I'm waiting on him again.

I feel like he has made all the decisions in our 'baby making' process...

He decided when we were going to start a family (when he was ready).  I could have tried to pull an 'oops' baby after we were married (but then again- as we now know- it wouldn't have been a very successful attempt!), but I waited, knowing I didn't want to force him into it...

Two and a half years later, on Mothers Day, he gave me a card where he hand wrote in "I think it's about time we start trying for our own family"

So we did.  And we got heartbreak-  And then he pushed me to continue the testing after the D & C to find out what was wrong.  So I did.  And I resented him for a long time for that, but it did shed some more light on the issues at hand.

And then we moved.  And found a new doctor.  And lost another baby.  And then more testing.  And then Another. And then Another.  And then he said he was done.  He couldn't loose any more of me- that with every loss he saw a little piece of his wife die, and he couldn't do it anymore.

I didn't feel the same way, but 100% respected his decision to get back on birth control. 

So where does that leave me now.  Waiting.  Waiting for him to be emotionally ready to move forward on the adoption.  And that puts me in a holding pattern.  I promised him to not pressure him about it (I'm REALLY bad about that- hence the reason that we bought the house at our last Base... which we ended up getting screwed on when we moved- 100% MY fault!)  I promised I wouldn't talk about it, unless he brought it up, and so far I've stayed true to that. 

But the only way I could do it, was by boxing up all the emotion, hope, thoughts, conversations, taping it shut, and putting away in my brain.  Because if I don't I'll go crazy.  I'm going to try to sit here patiently and wait.

Try. That being the key word. So far- so good.

So- with my adoption 'boxed up', I guess I feel somewhat lost, and this blog has also been 'boxed' up.

 For now.

Baby Fever

So, I've gotten a few emails about where we are in 'building our family'....

Ya. About that.  Pretty much stuck is the short answer.

My husband is very OCD (which if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you know!).  His shirts are hung in groupings, he can't go to bed with dishes in the sink, and money... it's a huge deal for him. 

Before I married him, I would go to the gas station and fill up so that I had $.43 left in my account... now, if we get under a certain number in our bank account (well above what a month worth of income is for us), we are 'almost broke' and 'have to watch our spending'....

Ya, its sometimes annoying.  Really Annoying.  BUT- I'm grateful, because I'm a spend-a-holic, and he is a save-a-holic. Without him penny pinching me, we would have never have paid off what we have in the last two years.  Several credit cards, furniture, a computer, my car (well- that was a present from my parents), and my student loan.  We've really kicked some ass when it comes to paying off debt.  Right now, besides our monthly payments for utilities, cable, phone, stuff like that, all we owe on is his truck, and our house. 

Pretty dang good. 

But, we've been working at being 'debt free' for so long I've hit my wall.  I think.  Actually-I'm pretty sure.

So, back to the 'building our family' thing.... my OCD husband, responsible husband, really would like to have his truck paid off before we start the adoption process.  Oh, and me have a full time job... that too would be a bonus.  I guess technically I have a job right now, but it's still substituting, and it's gone as soon as my class graduates (I have all seniors).  And I don't really have a plan for next school year. 

So... for now, I just have baby feaver, and I'm saving our money.  I've talked about the couponing that I do, and stuff like that, so they way we have set up our budget, any extra money left over in certain categories will be directly transferred to the truck as 'principal only' payment...

It seems like an insurmountable task, so I've decided to keep a running tally on the side of our page, how much I've 'saved' from smart shopping (coupons, buy one get one, etc), and how much we are able to actually transfer to the truck...  So far, the biggest chunk was $2,000 from our taxes, and just a little bit here and there... 

So.  That's the plan for now.

BUT- when you really think about it.... we think the adoption is about $18k, give or take, with the $13k for the tax credit, and the military's $2k they give us...that sure is looking a lot like $3,000 for the adoption, of total out of pocket costs... granted we would have to pay the payments on the HELOC/loan/credit card/insurance policy cash value however we would pay for it, until we get the tax return.  But really.  We could do it... now- just to convince him.

I *heart* free stuff

So, I've begun couponing... and have further been encouraged by a friend at work who is coupon master...

K-mart is having their double days for coupons, where they will double any coupon up to $2.00, so you can get up to $4.00 off.

I'm not for one to just buy stuff because it's free, I have my brands, and I usually stick with them.

However, this time around they had a TON of things that I use!

So over the past week, (you can only do 5 per day) I've collected quite a stash. 

Travis went with me on Tuesday.  He didn't understand why I was getting 5 boxes of dog treats.  The conversation went a little like this:

Him: Why five, why not just one or two

Me: Because they are free

Him:  But just get two, that will be enough

Me: But I can get five for free

Him:  Why does it matter

Me: It's not like they are going to go bad- we have 3 giant dogs

Him: How can they really be free, there has to be a gimmick

Me: No, no gimmick, just grab them and lets go check out.

Him:  Fine.

*** cashier scans my rewards card, scans the 5 boxes of treats, scans the 5 $2.00 coupons I have (that double), prints out the receipt and says "Have a great day"....

Him:  Wow, we didn't even have to pay tax.

Me:  I know, isn't that cool, you just walk in, go to a line, and walk out with $20.00 of dog treats!

Him: What else can we get free?

Me:  Well, there is lots of stuff, but I'm only getting stuff we will actually use, like my razors that I use and stuff.

Him: Is there anything that I use that's free?

***I shuffle through the list***

Me: No, there is just some body wash and deodorant for guys, but not the brand you use (hes a brand whore too).

Him:  Well, I could use it if it's free!

I'd have to say- hes converted!

So, my stash for the last few days of doubling (and I still have two more to go!)

All for the grand total of $8.33

(the razors were $4.00 off, but normally $5.79 so I had to pay a little for each pack of 4)

Oh, and a candy bar.  Because I was hungry, and I didn't have a coupon!

Cake Wrecks

One of my favorite, time waisting, entertaining websites is Cake Wrecks.

Seriously, if you have never been there, you don't know what your missing.... go ahead, click over... I'll wait.

....waiting....

....waiting....

....waiting...

See, wasn't it great!  Well, on Monday I sent Travis to the store to pick up some 50% off Easter candy.... and he came home with this.

WTF?

It was a frosting covered chocolate chip cookie.  The yellow frosting was -no joke- at least an inch thick. 

He's enjoyed eating it.... but its starting to get stale... but have no fear, it won't go to waist....

Spring sprung a leak!

I know that I've mentioned that my husband is in the Air Force.  That means that occasionally he leaves.  They send him someplace.  Sometimes that someplace is far far away (Kyrgyzstan), and sometimes rather close (Alabama).  We'll as a military wife, I've gotten pretty good at 'fending for myself'.  Well, the ability to text message my Dad a picture of the problem is my secret!  Trav had mentioned that it would be cool while my parents were visiting, having my Dad put a new knob on one of our outdoor spigots.  We remembered the request on his last day in town, and the one we picked up at Ace, which ended up being the wrong size.  So I took it back and got the correct size, but it still wouldn't go on...the spigot was stripped.

What's a girl to do?  Crawl under her house of course! And send a picture of it to her Dad!

I'll admit, I didn't take a lot of pictures, but basically (after I turned off the water) I had to cut the original pipe (it was the flexible polypropylene pipe) off and then unscrew the original spigot, pull it out, put the new pipe on and vola!  Fixed... actually, it didn't quite go that easy, but those were the steps that got it to work...

So, this is the tool that SAVED me... I had originally tried to just use those clamps that you tighten by screwing them down... Ya, didn't work.  The tubing was to hard, and the clamps caved in on themselves.  This little crimp-er thing is the best $40. bucks I spent... maybe ever.

I am military wife- here me roar!

(is it bad that I've fixed more things in our house that Travs has...)

I decided it was a good thing that I decided to just replace the whole thing instead of pounding the handle on, or just using pliers to turn it on or off.... it wasn't until I got the old out out that I saw the ONE INCH GASH that was on the upper side of it!  No wonder our water bill was so stinking high, it has been leaking for who knows how freaking long. 

Oh ya... did I forget to mention that it was POURING RAIN the whole time I was trying to fix it... this picture just doesn't do justice to the PUDDLES that were forming....

Ok, so spring is rainy.. but spring also brings some of my favorite flowers.

I guess they day didn't end so bad, I preformed my first ever plumping repair, with only a few little hiccups, and my favorite (purple) smell good flower's bloomed....

Murder at our house

The Killing Field:

Dear pretty purple plant,

I'm sure you would look great on the side of the road, or even in a pasture, but not on the side of my house!

Dear Clover,

You are going down.  My puppy is allergic to you, therefor whenever you come around you make his feet red, and then I have to shove benadryl pills down his throat.  Not our favorite thing to do.  So, you must die!

Dandelion oh dandelion,

When I was little, before company picnics, my Dad would pay me a penny for every one I picked, just so you wouldn't see the yellow when you looked out at his grass.  However, I don't have a child to con pay to pick you, so you must just die.

Dear plant,

Really?  WTF?  I have never seen you before.  You kinda look like carrots... but then I pulled you up, and you weren't.  Well, even if you were carrots, I don't want carrots growing around my a/c unit and fence line, so I'm sorry friend.  Even though you are 'food like' you too must go.

So yes... we were murderers this weekend... hopefully it will result in a weed free long, and we can seed it in May!  Yea for crappy grass that comes when you buy a foreclosure! 

But, I've got full confidence in my OCD-yard lovin-husband... he'll have it looking great at the end of the summer....(though, I'm the one that put the weed and feed down, and I'm going to have to mow tonight... so I should get some credit....)

Damn Cat

We have a cat.

His name is Hunter.

What an oxymoron.

He is the biggest 'scaredy cat' you ever saw.  You look at him and he runs away....

But.

He likes string.

This was the first time... I then asked my step daughter to make sure the yarn was in the closet so he couldn't get to it at night.... ya didn't happen, so I re-rolled that big-ass ball of string for a SECOND time.

Damn Cat.

Some Gave All...

 (totally stolen from my friend Ashley @ Raising Brats)

When faced with tragedy people react in different ways. Some break down, unable to function, others discover how strong they truly are. Like Rachel, who is finding the strength in her tragedy to do something for others. Not only is she hosting a great giveaway on her blog, A Little Pink in a World of Camo, but she is doing something great to honor all warriors, specifically her late husband, Cpl Jonathan Porto. She's running in the Run for the Warriors 5k next month. (She's the warrior in this situation if you ask me.) She asked each of us, her readers, to donate just one dollar towards her contribution to the foundation, and it got me to thinking, so I have teamed up with Mrs GI Joe and Mrs. Muffins and we decided to help spread the word. If you look to the right of this post you will see a cute little button (made by the one and only Mrs. Muffins!), if you click on it, it will take you to Rachel's Hope for the Warriors page. You can also highlight all the text in that nifty little box and add the button to your page. I cant tell you you have to donate money to this great cause, but I can ask you to consider it. I can ask you to consider donating $1, or $2, or $5 in honor of a fallen or wounded warrior that you know, or in honor of Cpl Porto, like the rest of us.

Shocked

"Ummm... do we not live in the same world?"

That was the question I just asked my husband.  Because, really?  I had to ask...

I came home tonight from class and sat on the couch.

I just kinda zoned out, and he asked what was wrong...

I just looked shocked.  Because apparently he and I do not live in the same world.

My world revolves around my job of teaching fucking juvenile delinquents (who have more girls then I care to know knocked up), my masters classes suck, we are struggling with deciding what adoption route to take, and to top it off this weekend, I get to deal with his 'crazy baby momma' and her family for my step daughters birthday party (which I planned....). 



He looked at me- completely strait faced-  and said  "no you live in the 'world of Jenn', it's a little crazy in there"...

nice.

But then he gave me a kiss, and my crazy little world got 100 times better.  


I love having him home.

Purging

I talked here about how my spring break was filled with purging.  I started cleaning out my scrapbooking room, office and guest bedroom.  Well, the scrabooking room and guest bedroom got emptied into the office (and hallway). 

As I've bitched commented about before, I H-A-T-E the salmon- peach-tanish color that our whole.damn.house. is in... I've successfully now covered one more room! 

(I still have our bedroom, living room, and hallway, and then it's ALL GONE!)

Travis didn't have any idea that my plan was to 're-do' this room as well,  in fact, I took a picture of the "I *heart* Travis) up close so there was no clue as to what room it was in (from windows and doors), and he STILL doesn't know where I put the new paint.  It looks a bit yellow, but really its a creamy color.  I like it, and since we know we are moving, its not something I will have to re-paint in 3 years when the Air Force sends us to our new duty station.  (AND- it's very gender neutral because eventually it will have a baby in it...so help me God if we leave this house without a little one! You might just have to commit me to a mental hospital.  I've already left to 'baby rooms' in our old houses... and don't think I can do one more)

The motivation for doing the guest bedroom was that we used to have a (self made) padded headboard in there that was replaced when I finished my beautiful wood bed.  The guest bedroom had nothing (just the mattress/box springs on rails) and so we (my bed making friend/designer Amanda and I) decided to move the old one it in there. 

HOWEVER.....

I was TRICKED into getting this crazy ass pattern to recover the headboard....

In fact, through all of it (I was having hart palpitations at the fabric store, its huge and crowed with bolts of fabric (so not like hobby lobby or joanns)!  In fact I was QUITE ridiculed for being so 'vanilla' (every room in my house that I've painted is some sort of brown or cream-except my office which is muted green... which apparently still didn't qualify as being 'un-vanilla')

We flipped the comforter around, so that it brought out more of the blue in the headboard.  I'm still looking for some more accessories for the room, since I had been starting to collect (from clearance racks and such) French Country Chic type things, and well, um... those no longer really 'fit' in the room.

I will probably (definitely) recover the chair with some other fabric I will be tricked into getting, (I love the chair though- $5.00 at a garage sale!) and find some green 'stuffs' that are tall to put in this basket/vase thing (stuffs is what Travis calls dried/fake flowers).

It's still a work in progress to 'polish it', but I LOVE that I now have four less walls in my house that are salmon- peach-tan.  That in its self is a major plus.   

What's your record?

So, in the midst of building my girlfreind's bed, we were waiting for the stain on her bed to dry which was taking forever, we were waiting paitently and had to waist some time...

What are three girls with an exercise ball to do?

Do ab workouts.... umm no

Challenge each other to who can balance on their stomach the longest... why not!

Which -oh by the way- the record is 5 seconds... give or take, none of us could really stop laughing long enough to count!

Bed Building- Part Deux

At this point, we had to take my step daughter home (it was the end of the weekend time), and Travis had called.  When the project started (actually when he found out about it by looking at the bank account and saw all the stuff we bought at Lowes and Home Depot...) we promised him pictures of it by that night. 

We thought we were about 20 min from being done... so we told him it would be that long for us to put all the finishing touches on it, and then he would get pictures e-mailed to him.  THOUGHT was the key word.   We got it all done, threw the box springs on it to take pictures and then almost cried... 

This is the picture he received... little did he (or us for that matter) know, we still had 5 more hours of building after this.  We knew we were going to have to notch out the footboard (its just leaning up in the picture above (notice the white bucket still holding the rails up) but that shouldn't take very long...

We had already started taking the bed apart (for the 3 time) when I took this picture, but you can see how far off the bed was... the boxsprings was all the way snug on the left.  It was almost 11 inches to wide.

And then the rails didn't fit in that short space on the foot board, so we had to notch part of it out... gotta love the dremmel!

The stiles (that hold the mattress up) had to be shortened too... so off those came.

Since the headboard and foot board were also two wide, we had to cut them down.  We did it by taking off the two decorative pieces on the top, and then the two side pieces and just used a circular saw to trim it down.  We were VERY lucky, and it didn't mess up our finish on the headboard. 

I was so exhausted by this time, I didn't take many pictures of the last steps, we were so freaking tired, and 'over' the whole bed building thing that we just wanted to get d-o-n-e, done!

The last screw.... 

Its finished!! Whoohoo!!!

And the amazing part is after all of that, we are still friends, and laughing... oh- and we built another bed since then for a friend!

EXHAUSTION.

As you can see, the picture above this one, we just had the mattress on it.  We did it with both, and I didn't like how high it was, but after living with it low for a week or so, I didn't like it either.  So, I ended up switching it back to the higher set up. 

And our next project is a step stool for me to get in it.

Travis still hasn't seen it, he gets home this weekend.  We've begun building the nightstands, but after two beds and a workbench (post on that later), my Jenn the builder phase has taken vacation.  Eventually we will have matching nightstands... eventually.

I have to give credit where credit is due:

This project would still be a glimmer in my mind, if it weren't for my friend Amanda... she is amazing, and fun too! 

Erika (the second bed was built for her), came over and was a huge help, and our resident nurse on the job site.

And last but not least, Sarah, who brought the drinks and was our OSHA supervisor.  She was definitely our comic relief for part of the building! 

Overall- I had a blast, feel empowered, and gained some 'garage/tool credit' from my husband.

oh, and HOLY HELL, I BUILT MY OWN FREAKING BED (with some help) !!! 

 How many hot chicks do you know that can say that!

Bed building

Back to the ever- fateful bed building...  We finally got it all done... and we only had to rebuild the damn thing 4 times...

Note to self- the "Measure twice, cut once' is only valid if the "Cracky-McCraken" that you got the plans from has the right measurements (as she was called by the end of the evening because she was obviously 'smoking crack' when she drew up the plans).  Don't get me wrong, she has beautiful pieces, but when she converts plans for beds and such (twin to queen to king) its not completely seamless....

"QUE THE PICTURES"

This is the pieces of the bed drying in the garage.  I used Minwax PolyShades.  I'm not completely convinced that they are truly a 'one-step process' as stated on the can.  There is some polyurethane in the stain, but I decided I wanted a bit more protection.  I was told by a teacher I work with that I should mix 1 part satin polyurethane-1 part mineral spirits.  It will knock the shine down, but still give you the protection.  You put it on with cheesecloth, so you don't have brush strokes, and makes the finish on your wood be-u-ti-ful!  I'm so pleased!

Room cleared out- check!

Pieces in- Check!

Let the building begin! (round 1)

Crackey- Mc Cracken had us build the frame and stiles first, and then attache it to the rails... one problem...

When she did the measuring, we were now a 2x4 with on both sides to wide...(the rail is supposed to fit in the notch in the headboard.

So we took the frame COMPLEATLY apart and re did it like this (Round two!).

We were then ready to attach the rails to the headboard and foot board.  My mother in law works in food service, and always grabs these big buckets for my husband to use to was the car.... or build beds apparently!

Everything is square! Double BONUS

This is what my step daughter did the whole time... she's making friendship bracelets for kids at the local hospital.  She has such a good heart!  She wanted tape to tape the knot to the table, and both of my friends and I were like, "No, you want a safety pin".  She didn't want to do that, because 'all her friends at school used tape'... We tried to explain that we all had 10 times the 'friendship bracelet making skills/time' and she should just try it out... She was wearing really thin leggings, so she pinned it to a sofa pillow.  Needless to say, in about 22 seconds we had converted her to a 'safety pin holding- friendship braclet making- girl'!