Travis has been very cautious in this whole process of 'the baby'. Even when we were pregnant (looking back-for good reason), he didn't tell anyone besides family, wouldn't plan, would just take things day by day, appointment by appointment, blood work result by result.... It's not been any differnt with the adoption.
He is firmly set in the 'when we get matched, we'll start thinking about preparing'.
I however, would like to be a little bit prepared. I don't want to have to stop by a store on the way home from picking up our baby to grab diapers... Now don't get me wrong- I don't want to have the whole nursery done, but a car seat, a few bottles, pack of wipes and diapers, formula, a few onsies.... those things would be nice. Where we can survive the first 24 hours in our home...
Our friends are letting us borrow a car seat, I have a can of formula that was sent to me when I was pregnant in 2008 (and doesn't expire for another 1 1/2 years), and *shhh* I bought a package of wipes, but there are still a few more things.
He's starting to warm up to the idea (but still isn't close to wanting to register for anything...), because this weekend he actually walked up and down the isles in the baby section looking at things with me. I would tell him what I want (like brand of bottles), and he'd ask why, and sometimes my answer was "just because". He seemed mostly ok with that....
I guess I'm impressed that I can begin to walk into baby sections in places like Walmart and Target. I couldn't for a while, and would even avoid looking at them in the tornado of fertility treatments.
I'm still not sure I'm brave enough to go into an 'only baby' store like Babies R Us. I just feel like an impostor.... like I don't belong.
Another reason why I feel like we should be more prepared now is that in the twice in the last three months, our agency has had contact with the birthmom AFTER she gave birth... so the phone call wasn't "you've been matched, the baby is due in xx amount of weeks!" its more like "Umm... so you were matched with a birthmom, she had the baby yesterday, so can you come pick up your baby tomorrow?"
My girlfriend (who is in the foster to adopt process of three beautiful children with her husband), suggested that we go and register for both boy and girl things (stroller, bedding, etc), so when we get the baby, it's already ready- and the people that are going to come to the shower will know by then if they need to get the boy or girl things... (plus, a lot of registries allow you to edit online, which deleting one gender's selections is much easier to do at home with a newborn in your arms then going to the store to register for the first time with a newborn!)
Again, not sure if I'm ready to dive into a whole registry... maybe by Christmas I will be, and Travis and I can go with my parents when we are back home... that will be fun, I know my Mom would enjoy it. And maybe by then, Travis will be a bit closer to wanting to prepare!
I'm adopted, he's in the Air Force, and all we really want is family. After 8 miscarriages, and one failed adoption, this blog is a journal through infertility, adoption, and now parenthood, now that Isaac has filled our baby carriage, and it's about to be filled again with a surprise, successful (so far) pregnancy! It's sometimes blunt, sometimes improper, but always real. This is our story.
Like Trav, V always took things one step at a time too. It really helped keep me focused on what was important. I have to admit, it's hard not to run out and put together a package for you! I can't wait until we have the green light!
ReplyDeleteIt takes a while to process and since we knew we were looking at a year+ of waiting we pushed it to the back of our minds for a few months. ....and then 8 months later I was getting antsy. I recommend taking someone for moral support when you decide register - it was really weird to be the non-pregnant lady with a scanning gun. ;-) Good luck and I hope your wait is short!
ReplyDeleteS and Trav are exactly alike, S wanted to wait until we were matched before buying the nursery set and I was ok with that at first but then saw a set I HAD TO HAVE and my gma and parents went out and bought it... then his mom went out and bought the bedding and so our whole nursery is set up much to his dismay then I found the pattern for the carseat and pack n play ect... and found out it was being discontinued so I found it at GREAT DEALS and bought that. BUT we haven't gotten bottles, diapers, wipes or any of that yet I am waiting also to do a registry since they ask for a due date and we don't have that. Good luck on whatever you decide and know that it is your decision and when the time is right you will know :) J
ReplyDeleteI remember the itch to set up the registries...
ReplyDeleteYou can set up the Target and BRU registries online (and at least one gives you the option to keep private until you are ready to disclose). The only thing is that for some reason, not everything available in store is available online - and vice-versa. I ended up doing most of my selections online and not in store.
Babies really don't need much more than you have already...maybe a few diapers, some white onesies, gender neutral sleepers, fleece blankets, and baby wash. I wouldn't stock up on diapers because the name and store brands fit and function differently and you may find that the one brand which works best is not the one you've stocked up on!