I love him

Travis is not a huge fan of taking pictures... he's worse that a little kid about it sometimes.  If it can't be captured within one or two shots, then it ain't happening.

I had gone with my girlfriend to get photos taken of her two year old son, and twin one year old girls.  We had a blast, and the photographer is awesome!  She kept things moving, so I booked a session. 

Trav was not happy, but I told him it would be his Christmas present to me... So he sucked it up.  He actually ended up not hating the whole experience.  She was so good!  And, the best part about it is, she edit's the photos and then gives us them all with the copyright, so we can do whatever we want! WHOHOO!!!

She always puts some 'teasers' on her facebook page, so I snagged them.  I can't wait for the whole set to come in!  {yes, we are quite aware that Travis will need to buy a gun when his daughter is old enough to date! However, it became even more evident after seeing these pictures of her}

Waiting

Some numbers....

Three weeks of bedtimes past 11pm

Four revisions sent to my mom

Seven profile books needed

23 pages in our profile book

$.29 per page (x 161 pages)= $46.69

$5.99 per portfolio x 7 needed= $41.93

$10.00 off $25.00 at Staples (whoohoo!!)

166 days since we mailed off our initial application

3 major meltdowns in the  last 24 hours

1 huge check- {the largest we've written EVER!}

But after all of that, at 3:00 today, Travis dropped off our seven profiles and our check.

We are officially a 'waiting' family.

Really?

Could it be?  We are really done with our adoption profile?  It doesn't seem like it?  We've sent it back and for to the agency.  My Mom has edited it several times.  I've been up until at least 11 every night for the past 6 of the last 8 nights working on it....

I've sent it to a few people who saw the first batch, because we figure more eyes on it the better! 

*hint hint*  if you are a good editor, and would like to see it, drop me a line- lovemarriagecarriage (at) gmail (dot) com!

ps- my husband is laying  (lay- lie- I'm not a grammar teacher) next to me, and is questioning my question mark at the end of the third sentence.... I told him it was my damn blog, and I'd write how I wanted- my theory- I'm questioning the fact that we could possibly be done... "It's my blog, and I'll blog how I want to, blog how I want to, blog how I want to" (sung to 'It's my party...)

And then he started doing flashbacks to this episode... (sorry of the bad quality, it was all I could find on youtube)

(A More Real) Love Story

Cheesehead!!!

hey Brett... you thumbed your nose at us when you signed with Minnesota.... guess what, EVERY cheeshead across the country just thumbed their nose at YOU as you slipped on the final play of the game.... go home, because we ain't your home no more! GO PACK GO!

It's done

Well, mostly done.

The profile book that is.  We (read-I) was up until 11:30 getting it done.  Travis abandoned me once we were done with the 'writing' part of it.  I told him I wish he would do the editing and embellishing.  He just laughed- he laughed!  He said that there was no way it would ever be as good as if I did it, and then went back to watching football.

I sent it to my Mom for first thoughts, we still need to write our Dear Birth Mom letter, as well as what our views on adoption and plans for our child. 

Those seemed like the most important parts, so we decided that starting them at 10pm wasn't a great idea.

In other news:
* The gas station's Pumpkin Spice Latte isn't bad.  Don't get me wrong- It's no Starbucks- but for 1/4 the price, it will do.
* I finished the nightstand I was making for our bed, mostly.  I still need to trim out the door, and the drawer face, but the rest of it is sanded and ready for stain.
* I still haven't applied to Grad School
* I still haven't picked out my schedule next year
* I only have until Thursday to get it done.
* I have a student in OSS for 6 days, I sent some stuff on Friday for them to get started on this morning, but I need to send more, so I woke up 45 minuets early to get to school early (rather then staying late Friday).  I'm re-thinking that right now- a late Friday is WAY better then an early Monday!
* 12 minuets of that 45 minutes have been spent writing this post.... Better get a move on it!

Downward Dog

So... I've said it before, if I'm not going to birth a child, damnit, I'm getting my body back!  With four (or was it five) rounds of injectables, and all the Clomid, and the emotional eating after each loss, I haven't been comfortable in my own skin.

So I've been doing something about it.

I've been trying to get healthy again, so I can go on a walk with my dogs, and not hurt.  And really, after five knee surgeries, that's a amazing thing!

I've been doing Slim In Six, which has a TON of squats and things of that bend my knee, and I've been doing so well.  I've really paid attention to my form, and it's made a ton of difference. 

I'm not so worried about pounds, but more inches and stamina.  I can really tell, because I'm not nearly out of breath as I'm doing it.

The ending part of the routine is ab work on the floor, and some yoga for stretching and muscle tone. 

Mom- Whatcha doing?

Why you on the floor mom?  Can I lick the sweat off your arm? (which she did)

Can I just say... with three dogs, any type of floor work isn't so fun!

This was during the yoga... yes, that is her underneath my pose.

One of my ear buds had fallen out, she was bouncing it off her nose, until I blinded her!
(sorry, it's upside down, because I was upside down doing the pose,

and didn't think to hold the camera the right way....)

Better

I'm feeling much better about the whole profile book thing.  Sunday, my in-laws were in town for a swim meet, and then stuck around for the big pie auction at our church last night.  They spent their afternoon helping Travis and I stage and take better pictures of our house.  My mother in law has a good eye for that, and my father in law has some better camera equipment then our little point and shoot, so the results were much better! 

I hate that they MAKE you put certain things in.... I guess I can see how birth families would want to know... but still, talk about living in a fish bowl.

Tonight is the one night this week that I won't have something going on, so we are planning on spending a good chunk of time working on our profile together.

Talk about a romantic evening....

Home Study pt II

We had our second home study visit yesterday.  It actually went remarkably well.  Way better then we had 'hyped' it up to be in our minds.

But then it happened.

The overwhelming, all consuming dread. 

I'm not sure what triggered it (Satin as a friend suggested?), but it brought on a near anxiety attack. 

We now just have to wait a bit for the report to get done, but we can start working on our profile book.  I think maybe it's just being so close that is getting to be the issue.

I've done a lot of updating to our home.  I've painted all the rooms, decorated them, 'themed' some of them even....  Though we have lived in four places together, this is our first 'home'.  It's ours, together, we have made it our home, where we are happy, where memories have been made, where we have grown closer together as a couple.

But we have to include pictures of those rooms in our book.  Along with the value of our home, and our combined income.  When I was taking pictures of our bedroom (a room that prior to this I LOVED-dark color, bed that I made, fireplace, stick over the bed....), and then I uploaded them my computer.  And cried.  It seemed so empty, so plain.  The pictures don't show the love that is in our house, the happy memories that have been made here.  It made me think that maybe because those were our feelings, our memories, so my emotions made up for the 'lacking of' that was reality.  It made me wonder if people who saw our house thought that too.... that it was plain, empty, needing more....


We have to sell ourselves to these birth families.  And I hate feeling like we are on the bottom end of the mix.  Everyone else that was in our adoption class at the agency were older then us.  By at least 10 years.  They all have been in their careers, have been able to 'build up' their lives.  We make $60,000 a year, I know at least two other families make $100k +.  We have a 4 bedroom, 2 bath home, but it only is appraised at $160,000, I overheard a husband quietly say (we were looking at profiles and realizing we had to put our annual income, house value, etc) "Why should we have to let the birth moms know our house is $600,000?"  (What!?! was all I could think, that's huge....).  

So- We're young, we're in love, we're at the beginning of our lives.  We're almost debt free.  We do all kinds of fun things, and we have amazing family that are so excited to share their love too.... but we haven't been married 18 years, and make a lot of money, and have a big house....

I guess time will tell, if our youth and excitement will beat out stability, age, and money.

Last Minute

So... I'm just going to put it out there for the record, all this last minute crap my agency is pulling is not making me happy.

In trying to schedule our second home study, were another social worker has to come mirror our social worker, we have had issues.

I got an email at 10:03 Tuesday night that they would be here on Friday.  I know in most normal jobs, there is no way in hell that I could have taken a personal day with 48 hours notice....

Luckily, I'm just a sub, and so I have a bit more flexibility, and I had already told the principal in the building I was working that this second visit was coming, so she wasn't caught completely off guard. 

But still.... not a fan.

So ya, um, our second visit, and our deep conversation one, will be tomorrow afternoon.... and my house isn't ready for it... and I have tutoring after school.... and then class... and then I should probably grade too. 

Bogger Help

So I have another blog- I'm not on it as often, as this one, and I've tried to get out of my funk on it by updating my layout... I went to try to add a gadget, and the tab isnt there...

What the hell is blogger doing? I don't have a 'design' tab, only a template tab.... but that only lets me pick a dumb template, so now I'm stuck with dumb minima... anyone else having this problem?!? Help! My blood pressure is rising... I can feel it!

Session 1 down

We finished our first session with the case worker early afternoon.  It was a lot of going over information that we had submitted into our packets already.  There was some discussion, mostly about the readings, or why we selected the Caucasian program, why we are open to twins, how I felt being an adopted child that is now adopting.... nothing to earth shattering.

In the evening, we watched our neighbors twin girls.  They just turned one, and for now, are the light of our lives!  We love spending time with them, so are more then happy any time they come over.  They are going through a growth spurt, and had a melt down over dinner, one was hungry, one wasn't.... it was a mess.

It was the first time Trav had to fully be responsible for one of the twins, because my hands were full with the other one.  In the end, we rocked the both to sleep on the love seat.  I have a picture of Trav and B, when I get the pictures off my camera I'll upload it.

Now we just wait for the other social worker to get off vacation and see when we can all meet again. 

Though we aren't quit to that point yet, I'm going to start working on our profile book... I have a feeling with teaching and classes, it's going to sneek up on me!

However, so far today, I've been blissfully happy staying in bed and catching up on all my new shows.... last four episodes of Royal Pains (a summer series on USA), the first two of Glee (I got hooked over the summer), and I'm half way though my second episode of NCIS.  Trav got invited to be a team captain for some paint ball tournament.  The proceeds got to the DAV, and so it's military themed, there are three teams for each branch, so they needed three captains from each branch.  Since we are not near any military instillation, they called the recruiters.  They got to play for free, and the lunch is getting catered in.  He's not a big paintballer (I don't think he's ever done it before honestly), but it was worth it for the experience.  I'm not sure I'm looking forward to his clothes coming home (shows you how little I know... are they really covered in paint, or do they get coveralls?)